nihilizm

2007-09-24T22:52:00.001+08:00

Http://brightonyam.wordpress.com

Start relinking me. I will add a redirectory code to this page soon.

2007-09-24T19:52:00.000+08:00

Studied after school till about 3:45pm. Went to buy fries at the bubble tea shop and then walked around J8 till 5pm and left for home.
Right now, I'm feeling very bored.
Someone please tell me how to efficiently study for geography...
I want to know how to programme my brain.

The Law Of Attraction(Part 4):

Since science has proven that our brain cannot differentiate whether we've experienced something in reality or in our minds, that means that the experiences we have in our minds can make us feel, and emotionalize. Experiencing something in the mind is known as visualizing.
To attract something into your life, you have to think equal subconsciously and consciously. And by visualizing, you're thinking of it subconsciously, consciously, and you are even feeling it. You are living in it. Since the Law Of Attraction attracts the pictures in your mind, if you are able to visualize exactly what you want, then congratulations, you're gonna get it.

Our enviroment, our house, our rooms, the things we display to others, the things we give out, is just like our subconscious thoughts. And what we want inside us are just like our conscious thoughts.
If you want to be rich, but you like to draw beggars and display them all over your room. Then your external enviroment is contradicting your internal enviroment. You must think towards your goal, yes. You must also work towards, and with your goal. Don't let your actions contradict your goals.

2007-09-23T20:38:00.000+08:00

I realize that without the thesaurus, my vocubulary is very limited when it comes to writing essays, poems, lyrics and so on. I've to start studying the dictionary.

The Law Of Attraction(Part 3):

Since having negative thoughts would slow you down from getting what you want, then just think good thoughts. Always create backup thoughts. Backup thoughts here means thoughts that you can immediately think of when something bad happens. Make a list of roughly 10 good thoughts. Like how you felt when you owned your very first car, how you felt when you made your first million, how you felt when you first kissed him or her, how you felt when you won the competition, how you felt when you were featured on television and so on. Backup thoughts are useful in preventing your bad thoughts from slowing you down in getting what you want. When you meet a setback, when your girlfriend calls up and says she wants a break up, then hangs up without giving you a chance to change her mind, you would then feel as though you jumped off a 50 storey building, broke every single bone, but still alive, and there's no one there to attend to you. That sucks big time.
At that point in time, you already know it's over between you and your girl. You are sad and angry at the same time. You would think sadly, think angrily. And because the love was deep, you think very deeply, you think alot. In other words, you are slowing yourself down a lot in achieving all other things that you want. So this is when your backup thoughts come in. When your girlfriend breaks up with you, sad thoughts go into your mind, and before your sad thoughts accumulate, you quickly activate your backup thoughts. Your backup thoughts which MUST BE GOOD THOUGHTS will eliminate your sadness, and would at the same time remind you of how much more you have besides your girlfriend. Your backup thoughts would link to many other good thoughts you store in your mind. If you can make this habit permanent, then you're just a few steps away from the abundance of life.

2007-09-22T20:19:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 9am, missed my FOC tuition with YueSheng.
Went for lunch with my dad at Shunfu Mart, then headed down to Buona Vista as my dad needed to take pictures of a salon. I think because the owner of that salon is buying insurance from my dad.
Anyway, the salon is located in a place with a really nice enviroment. It's a rather empty place with very modernly architectured buildings with modern interiors.

"A picture can say a thousand words, a video can show a million pictures."
"A song can contain a thousand words with one meaning, a piece of music can contain a thousand meanings."

I quoted these as I was conversing on MSN. Music is a universal language. You can bring a Tamil letter to China and no one there would understand it. You can bring a chinese letter to France and no one there would understand it. But you can bring a sheet of music score composed in Bangladesh, bring it to Japan, practically everybody would understand it as majority of the population in every developed and developing country has basic music knowledge. Malays don't understand chinese songs, and Chinese don't understand malay songs. But both Malays and Chinese can tell if a piece of music is meant to make you feel sad or happy.

The Law Of Attraction:

If you realized, I've been telling you to think about what you want, who you want, when you want it, how you want it. I've never told you to think about what you want not, who you don't want, when you don't want it, how you don't want it. This is because it's the cause of why many people aren't getting what they want. --- They think more about what they don't want than what they do want.
There's an epidemic in Mankind. It's known as the "Don't Want" epidemic. This epidemic is present when people keep thinking, speaking, acting, and focusing on what they "Don't Want."
You see, the Law Of Attraction is like our computers. If you want a black background, you insert the color code, which is "#000000," and if you want a dark gray background, you insert the color code, which is around "#505050,"? If you want it darker, you don't add "Darker please." in the code. The computer would read it as an erroneous code and just give you #505050. "Darker please." here is also known as an alien language to the computer.
The computer doesn't care about the alien language, and only acknowledges the language it recognizes.
The Law Of Attraction as well, the Law Of Attraction doesn't care whether you perceive something to be good or bad, whether you want it or don't want it. It only cares about what you are thinking. It only cares about what are you picturing in your mind. So if you tell yourself, "I don't want to be in debt," and you keep picturing yourself paying the bank money, then that's the signal you're putting out into the Universe. You are attracting more of that, you are going to HAVE to tell yourself "I don't want to be in debt," and you WILL be paying the bank money. When you think of not wanting to be in debt, when you can picture it, you are feeling it. And you only feel a thought when the energy of the electrical charge is strong, and so you are going to get what you're feeling and thinking, and more of it. The Law Of Attraction gives you what you focus on, and does not see good or bad. It just sees what's in your mind. You keep thinking "I don't want to screw up this opportunity, I don't want to screw up this opportunity."
When you think this, you would be picturing, the outcomes of screwing up the opporunity. The Law Of Attraction doesn't understand English, so it doesn't understand that you don't want to screw up the opportunity. All it sees is you feeling very sad because you screwed up the opportunity. It focuses on "you feeling very sad because you screwed up the opportunity." And it will start to bring it to you, by first manifesting the thought in your mind, and than bringing it into reality.
To put it simply, the Law Of Attraction doesn't recognise any words of negativity or negation. It doesn't recognise "don't," "not," "no," or any other words like that. If you speak, act or think with these words, here's what the Law Of Attraction receives. And will attract a lot to you:

You: I don't want to be late. (Your mind pictures yourself being late over and over again.)
Law Of Attraction receives: I want to be late. And be late over and over again.

You: I don't want to lose you. (Your mind pictures yourself losing the closeness with her, and friendship as well.)
Law Of Attraction receives: I want to lose you and even ruin our friendship.

You: I can't handle all this work. (You picture yourself getting more work than you can handle.)
Law Of Attraction receives: I want more work than I can handle.

You: I don't want to fail my examinations. (You picture yourself crying hysterically over your poor results.)
Law Of Attraction receives: I want to fail my examinations horribly.

Make sure the pictures in your mind are positive. Make sure you picture what you want, not what you DO NOT want.

2007-09-21T23:09:00.000+08:00

School, gym, steam bath, swim with KianWei, Fabian, JiaSheng, QuinFei, Kevin, Dixon, ShaoLoong.

Prata House, and YueSheng's house for X-Box with DunJie,TianDe,YueSheng,YueSheng's girlfriend, YueSheng's brother, YueSheng's brother's girlfriend, YeowZhong, ZiXuan.

The Law Of Attraction:

From my previous post, you people might now be thinking, "according to the law, as long as I think about what I want and I will definitely get it."
You're right, but maybe not.
If you wanna get something by thinking of it, you have to think properly, correctly. Researchers tell us that we have about sixty thousand thoughts a day. Let's say we have exactly 60,000 thoughts a day.
So if we simply think about being successful, it will only be one thought, that would maybe lead another 10 more or so thoughts. Here's what I mean:

Thinking about being successful ----leads to-----> thinking about winning that person's heart, acing your examinations, being good looking, being the center of attraction, getting a good job, being rich.

Let's say 1 thought of being successful would become 10. That would only make 10/60,000 thoughts. Which is only 0.0167% of our daily thoughts. What are the other 99.983% of our thoughts? What if 0.0167% of our thoughts are about being successful, but the other 99.983% of our thoughts are about being unsuccessful? This 99.983% of our thoughts are also known as our subconscious thoughts. Our subconscious thoughts are created as we live our days. If for the past 5 days, good things have been happening, then the past 5 days of good things would be stored in your 99.983% of subconscious mind as good memories that would definitely be more related to being successful than being unsuccessful. If your 99.983% of subconscious thoughts is mainly made up of bad memories, the word bad is enough to make those thoughts negative, which means it's more to the unsuccessful side.
So if you wanna get something by thinking of it, make sure the more than half of your 99.983% subsconscious thoughts are supporting your 0.0167% of conscious thoughts about the things you wanna get. And of course, the more your subsconscious thoughts supports your conscious thoughts about things you wanna get, the more likely you are to get what you want. If you're wondering, how to make your subconscious thoughts support your conscious thoughts more, then take a look at when I say, if for the past 5 days, good things have been happening, then the past 5 days of good things would be stored as good memories in your subsconscious mind. So, let good things happen, let more of it happen, let them accumulate.
By now, some might be asking, "How is that possible? What if nothing good happens in my life, does that mean I would never have good subsconscious thoughts?"
If you have this question, if you have this thought, all I can tell you is that you've got it all wrong. Everything that happens in life is good. Everything that happens in life are guidelines for you. Everything that happens in life is giving you an opportunity. Everything that happens in life is a signal to you.
When you are doing your NAPFA 2.4km run, you are in the lead and your ankle suddenly hurts, that's a signal telling you that you've worn out your ankle. Are you going to continue running in the lead and be injured severely, and never be able to run again, or are you going to stop and let it heal over the next 2 days, then be able to take the lead again in future?
This is also a guideline for you in life. It's like an angel telling you to turn left(Stop, let it heal, and take the lead again), and a devil telling you to turn right(Continue running, win this race, and never be able to again). But this guidelines are invisible though.
And then again, this is an opportunity for you to show your teachers that you make wise choices, you are smart enough to stop running, give it up, for you know you can always do it again.
So in conclusion, nothing bad happens in life, it's how you look at it.
If you look at everything as a learning opportunity, you would feel good, think good, and then eventually obtain a subconscious mind made up of 99.983% positive, good thoughts, which supports the 0.0167% of conscious thoughts at all time. If your 99.983% of subconscious thoughts are completely positive, don't worry if you meet any setbacks, because when you consciously think negatively during that setback, your 99.983% of subconscious thoughts would back you up.

2007-09-20T19:38:00.000+08:00

I just did, or rather, I'm practicing mathematics and I think I can draw curves without the curve ruler as accurately as when with the curve ruler. Just that my freehanded curve lines are the sketched out kind. And I repeat, I said I think I can, I did not say I can. It's my opinion of my own freehand drawing. Hehehe.

Today, today, today. I don't have much to say about my days man. I still can't figure out how do I type my day out as long as, or longer than those who has done much less than me in a day, but types much more. Tomorrow shall be gym, swimming, and night study. :D
Can someone tell me why people often uses "mug" or "mugging" to substitute "study" or "studying," ?
To mug means to capacitate, or to rob. You don't pass your examinations because you store fluid or rob.

Everything is within us. Even this world we are in. We aren't in it actually. It is in us. We did not create this world, but we shape it. I guess I should share the "Law Of Attraction" more elaboratedly from now on. I can't explain it all in one post, It should take up to 5 posts at least. To allow readers to more or less understand the law. I have posted on the Law Of Attraction before, so some stuffs will be repeated.

The Law Of Attraction isn't the law of how hunks and babes attract people. It's about how stuffs are attracted into life. And life here doesn't only mean one's own life. Life here means the life of everyone. The world.
With knowledge and understanding of the Law Of Attraction, you can intentionally enjoy life without any effort. Or maybe just a little. You can enjoy wealth, love, friendship, everything.
Now, what are we made up of? Atoms. And atoms have components called subatoms. Get this fact right.
Now, we know that every atom has an electric charge. This can be proved in our science textbooks and encyclopedias. We are taught that atoms are the smallest particles in this world. But the subatoms are smaller, and even they, have electric charges. These electric charges have purposes. Don't they? I actually fail my chemistry but I know, electric charges are used to generate our thoughts. Don't expect our minds to generate thoughts for no reason. We can say that our body is made up of organs. But we can never say that our thoughts have organs too. Our thoughts are generated. And we are the generator of these thoughts. Because our whole body is electrically charged by the atoms in us. The electricity we use to generate thoughts come from them.
Have you got all of that? If you have, understand the next thing. Even the weakest electric charge has a magnetic force. And anything created by electric charges, carries the magnetic force as well. This means, our thoughts that are created by our electric charges, has magnetic force. Electric charges have a frequency too. And all this can be proven by scientists, and even wikipedia. As we generate thoughts, these thoughts or electric charges will go out of our body into the Universe and magnetically attract us to the things out there that are on the same frequency.

Take a television set for example. A television emits a signal to the television station's transmission tower which broadcasts via a frequency, and appears as pictures on our television sets. Each channel has a frequency, and when we switch the channels on our television sets, we force it to "think" on the same frequency as the channel we want to watch. So our televisions start "thinking" on that channel's frequency, and brings things on that frequency onto our television screen.

I think I've typed too much, anyway, here's the last thing. Using the example in the previous paragraph, assume that your mind is the television station's transmission tower, your thoughts are the remote control, what you see in life is your television screen.

You use your thoughts(remote control) to decide what signal does your mind(transmission tower) broadcasts via a frequency, and it will appear in your life(television screen).

I feel that it's time, for me to draw the line, I know that I'll be fine.

2007-09-19T20:31:00.000+08:00

Are you poor?
Do you fail your exams?
Are you slow in learning?
Do you communicate poorly with the others?
Do you have a bad attitude that you can't get rid of?
Does everyone despise you?
Are you addicted to a drug?
Do you feel like a lowlife?

Some people fail in their examinations, learn very slowly, communicate very poorly, has a bad attitude, is despised by considerably everybody, is addicted to smoking, glue sniffing and so on, and is poor. Yes, indeed these people are considered lowlives to many other people. But actually they aren't. They are just ill-bred, or ill-influenced. Influences don't necessary come from others. Influences can come from within oneself as well and infact influences from within oneself occurs everywhere and everytime, inclusive of now.
What I mean by influences from within is when, Person A possesses everything that people consider a lowlife would possess. And Person A knows. Initially he disagrees, but because he keeps thinking of it, he eventually calls himself a lowlife too, and really live like one.
The fact that he isn't born a lowlife, he is born a innocent little baby, now thinks that he is a lowlife. And does everything that a lowlife does.
There are some self-influenced lowlives who still have doubts about themselves as to whether they should live on with it or not. And to these people, of course, everybody elses' and my advice is that you don't, and you start changing now.
Being able to be influenced toward the bad side by oneself, simply means being able to be influenced easily by others.
Today, a very good example of a low self-confidence doubtful-about-being-a-lowlife got influenced by another high self confidence fully-self-proclaimed-lowlife to do something the lowlife style. Got caught, and took the rap. Wow. Practically everybody who knows about it now has a totally different impression of that low self-confidence doubtful-about-being-a-lowlife person. Would this make him think of himself more like a lowlife, or would this wake him up, we can't decide, we can only persuade, but still, the results are dependent on him. None is born stupid, none is born a drug addict, none is born to be poor, none is born to communicate poorly, none is born to be despised, none is born with bad attitude. Who you want to be, how to want to be, what you want to be, is all within you. You decide it.

2007-09-18T18:57:00.000+08:00

ODM Watches.
I plan to get either the white "ODM Spin"(Extreme left, beside pink, against the side) or either the white silicone/polycarbonate "ODM Pixel"(2nd row from the back, 2nd from the left, beside black, or 2nd from the right, beside pink.)
Visit them at http://www.odm-design.com/home.html :I

I don't know what's this, but anyway. It's with reference to "All thoughts which have been emotionalized and mixed with faith begin immediately to translate themselves into their phyiscal equivalent or counterpart." in one of my previous post.

There are feelings, there are emotions, there are times
That can't be put into words, and even actions
And when you perceive them
That's when you feel lost
And when you feel lost
You seek a way out
When you make it out
Feeling lost becomes a memory
When feeling lost becomes a memory
You perpetually perceive it in the mind subconsciously
Perpetual perceiving of it in the subconscious mind
Creates a faith towards it
And when the conscious mind triggers the memory
You will get all emotional about it
And so
Subconscious thought of feeling lost
Conscious thougt of feeling lost
Faith towards feeling lost
Emotions towards feelings lost
When they coalesce
They translate themselves into their physical equivalent or counterpart
They become reality
You bring them to life
In this cycle
You will never get out
Only until you stop thinking of it

- Brighton Yam

2007-09-16T17:23:00.000+08:00

Went for lunch with my family at some restaurant called the Meteor Garden or something like that, at the Mandai Orchid Garden. Went to the SAF Yacht Club, it's been long since I've last been there.

Came home, went for a swim downstairs and I just got back up.

Yesterday --- Went for pool at SAFRA Toa Payoh, then headed to Ang Mo Kio Hub to window shop and hit the arcade.

Removed the old music playlist with more choices of songs, and narrowed it down to this IMEEM's one, with only two songs which I fell in love with recently. :\

When your subconscious and conscious thoughts are matched and combined with emotions and faith, they will become reality. They will.

2007-09-14T20:32:00.001+08:00

We went to school for nothing today. First four periods were Social Studies and Mother Tongue, in which papers are over. Then except for the F&N students, Mr Zaidi isn't in school today so the me, KianWei and HanLong went to the kitchen to join the F&N students and cook bryani. :\
Went to play pool after school at Kallang with ShaoLoong, Charles, Dixon, Kevin.
Played till 5 and left.

I will get my desired whole new computer, inclusive of my desired whole new set of gear.
I will get a new MP3 or MP4.
I will earn $2000++ by the end of this year.
I will complete Piano theory and practical Grades 1-8 within 2 years, starting from next year.
I will come up with a portfolio of 50 or more interior design concepts by the year after my O Levels.
I will come up with a portfolio of 50 or more architectural concepts by the year after my O Levels.
I will come up with 50 or more better lyrics by the year after my O Levels and archive my past ones.
I will come up with 50 or more new web layout concepts by the year after my O Levels.
I will play good billiards.
I will play good ball.
I will gain at least 5kg mostly based on muscles over the next 6months.
I will pass my N Levels, and excel in my O Levels next year.
I will do everything single, and I mean everything, single, thing I want to.

Just some of my small and short-term goals. :D
It does look like I'm asking and dreaming for too much.
But it ain't impossible if you break each and everyone of them down.

I'm sure many of you, like me, are or at least have once been "between your friends."
I mean like when you are on good terms with Friends A,B,C and at the same time also on good terms with Friends D,E,F, but Friends A,B,C are on bad terms with Friends D,E,F. Then one day Friends A,B,C asks you to go to a party with them, and Friends D,E,F asks you to go to another party with them as well, and also assuming they both asked at the same time. Both Friends A,B,C and Friends D,E,F are fully aware that both sides are asking you to join them in going to the parties. This is when you know that if you go with Friends A,B,C then your Friends D,E,F will dislike you and vice versa.
Whenever I come across such a situation, I would call up a third party and join the third party instead.
Now let's say you can't find a third party, and you really wanna party. If you're lucky, either one of the two group of friends would be understanding. If you're judging by which side are you closer to, you will lose the other side, meaning you have to choose between more friends or closer friends.
Okay now I'm stuck, I don't have a solution.
If you can't get both sides to party together, and can't split yourself into half, just go home. Or maybe just head somewhere quiet alone. It's actually good to be alone.
I actually headed all the way Raffles Place after school alone a few months back, and I actually enjoyed. Probably because of the peace and many years of memories that place holds for me.
But places like Novena, which unfornately seems to be less peaceful now but holds some of my memories too, parks, libraries, Marina Bay, any empty green field, any open space, any small cozy but quiet and peaceful places. These are the places to distress if you're lack of facilities around you.
Well of course if you have the facilities, then do what I do. Hit the gym, hold your breath for two laps in the pool, hit the arcade, hit the LAN shops, go play ball, go play billiards alone, go for a jog, punch a bag, play a musical instrument, do some reflections, blast GOOD music, watch comedies.

I don't know what I'm trying to get at here actually. Hehe.
Maybe just saying that although I once said friends guide us through life and vice versa, our mistakes guides us too. And mistakes guides us by letting us understanding, friends only guide us without letting us experience. We all need friends, but only when we need them. We don't need them, all the time. When we feel we need them all the time, we're over relying on them. They sometimes over rely on us too, and hence we have to move away from them at times.

Anyone who wants to study out, please do ask me.

2007-09-13T21:41:00.000+08:00

"All thoughts which have been emotionalized and mixed with faith begin immediately to translate themselves into their phyiscal equivalent or counterpart."

Ever wished for something, kept and still is thinking of it, but it just never seems to come true?
Let's take wishing for good results as an example.
I'm sure every-sane-body out there wants to have good academical results.
But how many out there actually takes action to achieve it?
How many wants to, but "CAN'T" seem to?

Usually people can't seem to start taking action because while they think of wanting good results, they subconsciously think of games, friends, outings, parties.

You see, your emotions are defined by your subconscious thoughts. If you killed somebody, your mind will be filled with it totally, because the thought of it haunts you and thoughts of it fills up your subconscious mind. And suddenly one friend comes up to you and tells you a joke. You won't really laugh, would you? It's because your subconscious mind is scared and guilty, therefore your emotional status would be scared and guilty. Once again, this means that "Your subconscious thoughts defines your emotions."

To those who can't seem to start taking actions to achieve good results are going through this. Your subconscious mind and thoughts doesn't put you in the right mood to study. But the mind isn't to be blamed. You should be blamed. Your subconscious thoughts and conscious thoughts have to be on the same path to the same destination.
If your subconscious thoughts and conscious thoughts are different, then it's like a car with two steering wheel and drivers, one turning to the left, and one turning to the right at the same time. One of the driver is your subconscious thoughts, and the other is your conscious thoughts. If your destination is "Good Results", then both drivers must take the same paths and make the same turns toward "Good Results".

You have to emotionalize and have faith in your wishes, your thoughts, to make them come true. You put emotions and faith into your relationship, to make it come true, right?
If you have no emotion and faith towards your relationship, it would die, right?
Same for your thoughts. You are afraid you would be a beggar, afraid you won't find a partner, afraid you would one day know nuts about what's going on around the world, because you are poorly educated.
So the emotion you obtain from here is fear. Because of the fear emotion, your wish is to get good results to conquer that fear. This is just like fearing that you will lose your partner, and thus you become more faithful to your partner. To be more faithful, you take more actions like understanding your partner more, and doing more for him/her. So because the fear of losing your bright future, your partner, your knowledge constantly haunts you and fills your subconscious mind, you become more and more faithful to your thoughts and wish to get good results. That's when you take action.

When you don't feel this fear, when you don't feel for your thoughts, when you are totally emotionless about your thoughts and wishes, it means that they won't come true, so start emotionalizing your wishes and thoughts and be faithful to them.

2007-09-12T20:33:00.000+08:00

The first sentence of Jay Chou's Yi Lu Xiang Bei states, "The world that I see in my rearview mirror is soon going to be no longer there as I drive further."
I don't know, but that just got into my mind, and got out of it onto my blog, here.
Didn't do much today. Ate and walked around at J8 till about 5.
Went to the Bishan Library and studied till 6.30, then left for home.
I've been exceptionally tired for the past 2 days, and today. Whywhywhywhywhy.
Think it was July, just when I thought things would've gotten better since then.
My hopes were crashed and burnt soon after.
And until now, until then. The fragments of my hopes remain undiscovered.
Don't ever hope that the fragments of your hopes will be back together.
A hope that is gone, is gone. Re-hope it. Don't hope for it. Once a hope is gone, it doesn't mean that you can't create another similar hope, you can. But don't. Hope for something better.
I'm sweeping up the fragments of my hopes and dumping them into my recycle bin.
This recycle bin of mine recycles my hope well. It recycles my hopes of earning $100 in a day into hopes of earning $1,000,000 in a day.
I so feel like bringing Thomson CC's punching bag home right now.

2007-09-10T20:38:00.000+08:00

Year 2005, look at the flaws. The only thing successfully done in this picture is that the car is actually not moving, and made to look as though it's moving. :\

Went for lunch at J8's macs today, then borrowed a ball from Bjorn to play at Terence's house after school today. Played till 6 and left. Here I am.

Okay, I've my geography notes and worksheets out. I want to study, but I'm not doing so, I can't seem to start. Damn.
I must say my life has changed stupendously over the past few months, and year. I mean personally. I think I've changed for the better and I have to thank a few books for it.

Book 1: Dare To Fail, by Billi P.S. Lim.

Book 2: Rich Dad, Poor Dad, by Robert T. Kiyosaki with Sharon L. Lechter, C.P.A.

Book 3: The Secret, by Rhonda Byrnes.

Book 4: The 6 Biggest Decisions You'll Ever Make, by Sean Covey.

Book 5: Think And Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill.

But after reading this books, I realized actually people don't need them to really start living life.

We've always been told to make goals. I now see why, I now know why.

We've always been saying life is meaningless. We are on Earth for nothing.

I agree, why are we on Earth? We study so hard, we work so hard, we fall in love, we spend our lives with our loved ones. And still die at the end of the day.

Then again, if you agree, why not just die? Why bother living on?

If you can't bear to die and leave your friends and loved ones...

Are you going to just live on just because you can't bear to die?

Are you going to live on just to spend more time with your friends and loved ones?

Or...

Are you going to live on FOR your friends, your loved ones, and yourself?

I would choose to live on FOR my friends, my loved ones and myself.

But since there's no meaning, we have to create them. By choosing to live on, our first 3 meanings are already there. For our friends, for our loved ones, for ourselves. For our friends, we live to see them through life, and they do the same, we guide each other. We don't want to see anyone of ourselves fall.

For our loved ones, usually our parents and grandparents give us a kick start in life, and to thank them, we have to make sure they leave peacefully. How we can do so and what we can do for ourselves are interlinked. We've to create meanings for ourselves in life, that's how we start living. We live to fulfill our meaning. We live up to the definition of each and every one of us. Have you ever fell in love? You'd do anything for that crush of yours, right? You know why? Because each time you do a thing for him/her, you are living for him/her, you feel good working towards your goal, and he/her is your goal. And you are willing to do so because you want to obtain him/her, and you know one way is to live for him/her. So now, go and discover your talents, discover your interests, make what interests you the most be your goal in life. Make it part of your career, or your entire career. If you like playing piano, and that's what you're born for, you'd definitely want to be a pianist earning big money and fame. If you're born a pianist but you end up owning restaurants all over the world. Wow, you've made it big, in something that you don't enjoy. Congratulations. I know my goals, I'm into music, I'm into computers, I'm into graphics designing and web building, I'm into architecture and interior design. I can conclude I'm more to the creativity-required career kind of a guy. My goals are set toward there, and I'm making sure whatever I do brings me to that side of life. Start making yours, if you are screwed up about what you want, like maybe you like to drive, but you hate cars. That's kind of contradicting, but anyway.

So damn it, in terms of sport, motorsports are one of my favourite. I always get my parents to let me drive the car whenever we're at some empty carpark. I get to. But I've always hated driving a Mitsubishi Space Wagon, a small Rover, an old Nissan Sunny. But as I got to know more about cars, or rather, vehicles which include trucks, planes, ships. From the vehicle's body material all the way down to what's deep inside the engine, I can confidently say that I more or less am able to tune a car for better performance now. So be it, whether it's Mr. Bean's cooper, a lorry, or a MacLaren, as long as I get to drive, I'll feel good. It's as though I'm controlling something I know inside-out, I'm in command. Start working out your goals, live towards it, failures aren't failures. Failures are guidelines. I'm actually happy that I've failed big time over some stuffs. Because my goals now are more refined. My path in life now requires much less guidelines. Makes me feel like a pro. I can live life without being guided as much as others. Can you? :D

2007-09-09T21:19:00.000+08:00

I'm sick. Just came home from the Singapore's Symphony Orchestra concert at my mom's work place.
Did nothing much today.
Often in life, we suddenly drift further away from some of the people we know, and at the same time also suddenly get closer to some others. I wonder why. I don't really keep much evidence or records of the drifting and bonding process between me and my friends. I only have MSN chatlogs, friendster testimonials, past blog entries, and their, or if you're my friend, your blog's past entries.
I browsed through all of these today.
And I pretty much have my conclusion of why do we tend to become closer and further away from our friends.
You see, there are two kinds of people in this world.
Those who keeps friends because they are always there, they support you, they need you, you need them.
And those who keeps friends because they are cool, they are rich, they have status, they are famous.
Try this, make friends with someone. Get close to him or her slowly. Let's say this friend of yours is Friend A. Then after afew weeks or months of knowing him or her, get Friend B of yours to know Friend A as well. Get Friend B to tell Friend A bad stuffs about you, get Friend B to tell Friend A that you fall in love with 3 different girls/guys within a week, that you don't know any of the IN things, that you are stupid, that you are hated by many others. After which, go and talk to Friend A like you always do, and see the difference.
There are many Friend Bs out there. I mean those that will do this kind of shit automatically. They automatically tell Friend A bad stuffs there can be untrue about you.
I've experienced this before, many of us have. Sucks right? But at least we know there are some people out there who are very afraid of what we have, what we can have, therefore they have to resort to such methods to show us how desperate they are for attention.

2007-09-09T00:56:00.000+08:00

Blasting music into your ears while on the treadmill. - It feels good.
I don't know, I stopped after 3 songs which was about 9minutes and realized I didn't jog or walk.
But yeah, all the heavy panting came immediately after I stopped. I'm not a runner, hence I think 9 minutes without jogging and walking is quite an achievement. :\

Can't we just be grateful for what we have? Can't we just be content?
So many people claim to not have enough.
But the fact is, everybody has everything.
Having a mind simply means having everything.
What you think is what you are, what you think is what you get. You just have to know how to do it properly. Thinking to get what you want is just like taking a national examination. You do it wrongly, you don't get your certificate. I mentioned the correct way to do it before. That is to think of what you want predominantly. And think this way:
Instead of "I don't want to be late", think "I will be early".
Instead of "I don't want to go bankrupt", think "I will earn more".
Instead of "I don't want to lose you", think "I will secure our relationship".
And so on.

As for the question a friend of mine asked me about family relationships.
Here's what he asked, "What if I am one who runs away from home and goes back there only like once a week?"
He is of my age, 16, who obtained an aggregate of 263 for his PSLE, 4 years back. He was friendly, he was a true and loyal friend, and still is. But he was never a good son. Now, although he is still a loyal and true friend, he is also a loyal and true gangster. He gets into fights, he gets into robberies of roadside stalls, stealing, trafficks drugs and consumes them(I'm not talking about just cigarettes, I'm talking about methamphetamines, cocaine, ecstacy, ketamine, rohypnol, GHB, etc. These are better known as ice, coke, X, kit kat, r-2, and liquid X.) Don't expect a 263 aggregator to simply play around with cigarettes and little common fights, that would be a disgrace to his ancestors.
His parents were hardly home, they were out there making big bucks, and are rather unreasonable. We know our parents are reasonable actually. They are just lazy to be reasonable as they refuse to accept the fact that we are in the right and they are in the wrong, because they are afraid we might be lecturing them more than they do, it's like taking away their pride. They refuse to swallow their pride.
Even though he is a true gangster, unlike those common ones you see boasting around in school and in your neighbourhood. He is still a family member, who doesn't like conflicts and cold wars of any sort within the family. He said my post didn't cover and wouldn't solve his problem. But I told him, "Since you said you go home only once or twice a week, how on Earth would you know if your problem could be solved with my suggestions?" And that's when I received my thanks.

The power of the mind is infinite. Realize that.

What? Regret? So how am I supposed to react?
No wait, I don't give a damn.
One should live with one own's choices. :D

2007-09-08T01:30:00.000+08:00

The first part of this post is for someone, and of course, all other smokers( more to the teenage ones ). Hehe.

Here it is:
1. Tobacco is addictive. Cigarettes contain nicotine - a powerfully addictive subtance. Three-fourths of young people who use tobacco continue to do so because they find it hard to quit.
2. Nicotine is poisonous. Nicotine is the tobacco plant's natural protection from being eaten by insects.
Drop for drop it's three times deadlier than arsenic. Within eight seconds of the first puff, nicotine hits the brain and begins the addictive process.
3. Tobacco kills. Smoking is the most common cause of lung cancer and is also a leading cause of cancer of the mouth, throat, bladder, pancreas and kidney. Smokeless tobacco can cause mouth cancer, tooth loss, and other health problems. Because your body is still growing, smoking is especially bad for teens. And shockingly, roughly one-third of the teens who become regular smokers when under age 18 will eventually die from a tobacco-related disease.

Went for pool today with Jerome, Kevin, Dixon, ShaoLoong, JiaSheng.
Spent about $10 for the day, and now I'm left with 30cents.. How wonderful is that. Think I should just engage a financial assistant/manager.
Somebody asked me questions about my previous post. I shall talk about it in my next post, I'm tired now.
Anyway, I've been listening to Mario Vazquez's One Shot continuously today. It's nice.

Lyric:
If I were a builder
Then you'd have a castle
To rival the highest mountain
And if I were a billionaire
I'd give you every material thing
But unfortunately all I have to give to you
Is an imperfect heart
But it's a heart that beats only for you
Listen to this girl if you give me one shot
I will love you forever now
No man will do you better now
Love is a risk
But if you give me one shot
I will show you your the only girl
In the world who can
Give me this feeling
Baby, that's how I feel about you
Your one in a million
I'd rather die than live without you
We can't miss
So if you give me one shot
We can do it girl
I'm talkin' 'bout love in the mornin'
Just like you want it
Anything you need you can call me for it
Now girl I'm only human
I'm full of many faults
I'm guaranteed to fall short (guaranteed to fall)
But you'll never hear about me cheating
Cause I never would betray your trust
No matter what
I will look to you and only you for love
I treat your soul like it was mine
What a privilege to me to breathe your air
Doesn't that say that I care?
I'm talkin' all my heart
All my soul
Always stay
Never go
Ohhh yeah
But unfortunately all I have to give to you
Is an imperfect heart
But it's a heart that beats only for you
I'm talkin' 'bout everyday
Every night
The rest of your days
The rest of your life

I practically love all of Mario's songs.

Don't apologise. You doubted my judgment. I gave you warnings, I gave you hints, I gave you sneak previews of what the present would be like, back then. As for what happened today, just assume it never did. Go to bed.

2007-09-05T21:18:00.000+08:00

There are some things we can't decide. Things like who our siblings are, what our past is like. Yes, so sorry, but you are stuck with your father, your mother, your brothers, your sisters, your relatives.
For life.
And because this is so, choosing what to do to that feeling which exists between you and them is considered one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make in life.
Are you going to care for each other, respect each other and love each other?
Or are you going to care for yourself, disrespect each other and ignore them as and when you like?
Are you going to build the relationship?
Or are you going to run away from it?
Are you going to talk through your problems?
Or are you going to fight about them?
Unless you're dumb and stupid, I think you would choose to care for each other, respect each other, love each other, build the relationship and talk through your problems.
This might be hard. Some might think it's impossible to go about it. I haven't really thought of any solutions because I don't need one.. But I think I should be able to whip something up.
I got this from Nickelback's If Everyone Cared, and I think it plays an important role in changing your relationships between you and your family.
It's that you have to Swallow Your Pride.
Words like "Sorry", "I love you", "Thank You" and "Please" might sound and seem small, non-affecting. So...

Guy A : 1. Get me a cup of coffee as well / 2. Get me a cup of coffee as well please.
Guy B makes Guy A a cup of coffee.
Guy A : 1. Remains silent. / 2. Thank you.

Compare the conversation with 1. and with 2.
Don't deny it, there's a difference. Put yourselves in both Guy A and B's shoes. I shan't elaborate anymore.
If you are wondering, "Haha, Sorry but I won't even get a chance to get any of my siblings to make me a cup of coffee."
I believe it's because you have quarreled with them? Temporary quarrels shan't be talked about, as the next day would be better.
The main thing here is quarrels, fights, or conflicts that has started very long ago, since young?
There is one thing that needs to be understood. Every family member does not like it when there's a conflict within the family. You must agree, if you disagree, you have no brains, you're dumb, you should just die. You don't like conflicts, you don't want to quarrel and fight with your family. Do you know why you think like this? Because you're thinking in terms of FAMILY. So in other words, everyone else in your family is thinking this way too. That particular someone in your family whom you have a big problem with feels this way too. He or she does not like quarreling and fighting with you, he or she hates it. But if everyone thinks this way, why does the conflict still carry on? This is because none is smart enough and daring enough to swallow his or her pride, and just apologise. You might think it's giving in. Yes. You can say sorry to someone in school, and he will go around saying, "I won, he lost, he said sorry to me. He's a loser." But at home, it's different. When you say sorry, the other party might not know how to react, he or she might act as though you aren't forgiven. But deep down inside, both of you have forgiven each other since a long time ago. When you say sorry, you make yourself higher in position, in the family. Because when you are in charge of apologising, the other party is in charge of making things up to you more than you have to. You won't regret doing this. After doing this, start using the rest of the little words that creates huge differences. "Sorry", "I love you", "Thank You", "Please".
No regrets, no remorses. Trust me on this.

2007-09-04T22:14:00.000+08:00

This post is more or less a warm up for tomorrow.. :\
The contents of this post just came to my mind and I felt like getting it out.
Many people claims that life has been unfair to them.
They can come up with stupid reasons such as, "Because I can't score well for my papers, but others can.", "Because I'm ugly.", "Because I am not as rich.".
To people who are like this, you know I'm trying to say you're stupid. Yes I am.
Your hearts know if I'm referring to you. I don't know what to say to you.
Just compare yourself, your excuses with others.
You claim to not be able to study, but have you really tried focusing really hard like those who obtain straight As do?
If you say you are ugly, are you ugly outside, or ugly outside and inside? Have you seen people who doesn't really have a face? Have you seen those whose facial features seem to be mixed up big time and still live life very happily?
Not rich? Have you really started making money? I don't mean working at MacDonalds, I don't mean being a promoter and earning commissions of up to thousands. I mean making Big money. I mean making millions. And being rich is only having lots of money. Being rich doesn't mean that your money is clean. If you have lots of money, and it's clean money. You're not rich, you're wealthy.
To those who don't fall into this category, I assume you are really treated unfairly in life.
Let me define who you can be.
You could possibly be one who grows up in a home where you are abused and made to feel worthless.
Be it, by your parents, your grandparents, your brother(s), your sister(s).
You would be asking, "What did I do to deserve this?"
Don't worry, you didn't do anything wrong.
I grow up in a home where I don't get abused. My brothers bullied me before, but that ain't considered abuse.
Although life has been fair, I often thought it wasn't. And asked, "What did I do to deserve this life?"
My brothers are big sized, my parents aren't thin. But here I am, small sized, and high metalobic.
I asked why am I not in a family with two sons, living in a landed property, with 2 or more luxrious cars, a chauffeur, and get thousands of dollars from my parents each month.
I then came to think about genes. They say, kids usually resemble their parents. Because of their genes. So they tend to be and live like their parents. I thought, maybe my ancestors are like that, that's why my parents are too. This genetical thing is like "deciding" what we will be like. I refuse to let it decide that I will live like this in the future. I decide that I will live a completely different and much better lifestyle than this. Even though this is considered good. Here, if anyone has the same thoughts as I do, I call us the cycle-breakers. Cycle-breakers are people who defies the genetical inheritance, and changes the lives of themselves. Their genes will then be passed down their generations. Better genes at that. You break the cycle, you make your life better, you make your genes better. You pass them down. You change your whole family's genetical cycle. Think of it this way, you are in your family because you are The Chosen One. You are Chosen to change your family's life for the better. Those who follow the genetical inheritance are those who have failed to change the genetical cycle. So don't fail. Change your family's genetical cycle and genetical characteristics for the better. Start living life happy, start loving, start forgiving, start possessing all the good characteristics, start doing all the good stuffs. All this will be in your genes, and will be passed down.

2007-09-04T18:05:00.000+08:00

'N' Level's Chinese and Social Studies paper is over and done with.
I don't really bother about Chinese.
Today was Social Studies.
At first it went quite well, I answered according to the sequence I memorised from the model answers Ms Vasuki gave us. But later on while doing the second, or the last section, I had not enough time for the last question. It was worth 10 marks. So the answer I gave for the last question was kind of sloppy.
Overall I'm still kind of confident though.
Tomorrow's English paper one and two. I'm flipping through the thesaurus for alternative words to substitute as many words as I can tomorrow. I don't really like the way the school marks our English paper in such a way whereby I manage to score only 58.5 for the my preliminaries. Pretty much dashed my mood when I got to know about it. Oh well, glad I had a warning before taking the real thing, which is tomorrow.

There are some people out there who wants people to praise them. They need these praises.
Because they have low self-esteem.
They might talk to you about certain stuffs like muscles for example.
Saying this guy, that guy's muscles are nice, big. Then suddenly asks you to look at his, and asks you if his or hers is good. He or she wants you to say yes, when you say no, he or she will then go around telling people something like, "He says my muscles are small, as though his is very big, zzz".
These people have low self-esteem.
These people don't accept facts.
These people don't even know facts.
These people can't tell fact from fiction.
Just tell them the facts. They won't accept it, but just tell them anyway.

2007-09-02T01:48:00.000+08:00

Had no plans for the day, so I studied SS ( I was just flipping through the pages ) for the whole day.

Quoted from Mariah Carey's Through The Rain:

It's okay, what you say is
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain
And if you keep falling down don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail
You will make it through the rain

Her songs appealed to me when they're played by my computer as I opened every single song in my computer in one playlist. This song, as well, is telling us that as long as we tell ourselves we can make it, we will make it. See 1st, 2nd line and last line, it says, "It's okay, what you say is, I can make it through the rain. You will make it through the rain".
This morning when I woke up, I thought about yesterday.
My primary schoolmates. My primary school.
Our primary schools pretty much decides our mindset, our view of life.
I wondered, if I skipped everything and simply passed PSLE, and get into GuangYang.
Would I be who I am today? I must say, that primary school of mine. Ai Tong.
Wasn't just a good school, but a powerful school. A school that boosted all students' lives.
Like I said a few lines back, good primary schools "builds" our mind by preparing us well for the future.
I don't know about now, but back then, it was like that.
Can be looked as as an insult, but this isn't.
When I look at my primary schoolmates and compare them with others in their school, or even in those in my school. There's just this difference. I mean this in terms of IQ, EQ, PQ, SQ.
They all have totally different point of views. They all have different reactions. They all have different level of determination, perseverance. They interact and communicate differently. They absorb differently. They share differently. It's like we all have minds built by the very same builder. But this builder of ours purposely built us so differently. It's as though this builder saw the signboard saying, " There are many minds built here, join them! "
And he or she decided to not build there like all other builders did. Instead, he or she went far away to find a piece of rather empty land, and started building our minds there. This way, he or she made us outstanding. He or she made our minds easily recognisable by the way we speak, we think, we react, we do, we show, we hide, we live. But not forgetting that, on that land, there are other minds built there as well. These few minds enjoy more space, which means less conflicts over space. Whereas the minds built on a piece of land where minds are crammed together often have conflicts with each other. The few minds with more space grow up with more peace, less conflict. The minds with less space grow up with more conflict, less peace. Our minds grow up in different conditions. That pretty much defines who we are today. What kind of a person are we. With whom do we have more in common. Those with grow in a bad enviroment. Some live with it, and follow it. Thinking that life is like that. And thinks that those who grow up in a good enviroment are the outcasts. That's not the fact. Some grow up in a bad enviroment, knows about the good enviroment, and brings him or herself into the good enviroment by living like and maybe, with them. They are the winners among those who grow up in the bad enviroment.

IQ - Intelligence Quotient
EQ - Emotional Quotient
PQ - Physical Quotient
SQ - Spiritual Quotient

2007-09-01T22:24:00.000+08:00

My eyes of adversity.

Signature for designs, Year2006?

Cartoon hand.

This was supposingly for the school's IT club.

Whatever natural abilities I possess, disagrees with education.

Drew this for my younger brother.

The Gaming Spirit.

Xerqion Media?

What's the inability to logically think and reason, out of the box?

Nihilizm.

The Style(I felt stupid after I made this.)

I looked through my adobe photoshop's portfolio.
Thought I should upload some of my very first few designs.

2007-09-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

Today was kind of fun.
Celebrated Teachers' Day. Went to J8 to meet up with Aaron, Aisha, PingEn, Shane, Jonathan, and afew others. They didn't tell me that a movie was planned, I wasn't really in the mood.
So luckily Lydia called and asked me to meet up with her and some others back at AiTong Primary.
They were YuZhi, Senky, Benjamin, KokSheng. There's more.
I then received a message from Lydia requesting a pick up from the bus stop.
Then Keith came minutes later, and then we went to YuZhi's house as he needed to get some money.
When we were leaving for J8, ThyeChuan joined us.
We ate at J8, and yet another person joined us, ZhiWei.
She brought clothes for me and Lydia so that we could enter arcades and stuffs like that.
Keith had to leave for tuition, Senky decided to leave.. And after a long time's discussion, we decided to head to Ang Mo Kio Hub. Slacked at nEbO, ate more. Then Lydia went home for awhile. YuZhi and ZhiWei left. Me, Benjamin, ThyeChuan and KokSheng walked around again... And Benjamin left. Then it was about 9.. We went to the arcade, walked around even more until Lydia called and said she couldn't get out of the house, and asked us to go over instead. So we went, talked, talked, and talked till 11+ and left for home.

Some guy just told me about my blog being similar to Adam Khoo's.
So I read his blog, and found out why.
His blog, as well, mentions and speaks about the Law Of Attraction.
Here's how he puts it, I'll just simply quote a part of his post.

" Now, even if you may not be a religious person, remember that whatever we ask for, we will attract with our thoughts. THis is known as the Law of Attraction. The powerful message that we can take away is this…
When you ask for wealth, money will not fall from the sky. Instead, you will be given the opportunity to become wealthy. And remember that opportunities always come hidden as problems.
When you ask for confidence, God will not make you confident. Instead, you will be given opportunities to build your self confidence. Maybe, there is a chance for you to volunteer as a leader, give a speech, stand up to a bully etc…
If you wish for people to love you, you will not have people come up to you suddenly and give you hugs. Instead, you may start to notice opportiunities where you can give your love and kindness to others, thereby giving them them chance to love you. Is there something kind that you could do for a friend or loved one today?
If you wish for happiness, you will not wake up one day feeling happy for no reason. Again, you will begin to notice opportuniies where you can perform random acts of kindness to friends, family, strangers and even animals. And I guarantee that doing it will make you feel happy. "
- Adam Khoo, http://www.adam-khoo.com/.

I listened to Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston's When You Believe afew days ago.
I thought that it would be a good song to relate to the Law Of Attraction.
The chorus says, "There can be miracles, when you believe, who knows what miracles you can achieve."
To be able to start with an end in mind means that you already believe in it, and therefore you will make it. So if you rearrange the words, it will mean that when you believe in it, you already have an end in mind. You already know what's the outcome, when you believe in it.

The time now is 12:34AM, I'm tired of staring at the computer and therefore I should study.

2007-08-30T19:29:00.000+08:00

The Law Of Attraction, I shall talk about it once again.
It's a definition of everything happening around us.
Everything that happens now, is happening according to a law.
This law is the Law Of Attraction.
This law states that, "Like Attracts Like".
What does this mean?
The following are examples of what that means:
1. Cool people attracts cool people to be their friends.
2. Nerds attract nerds to be their friends.
3. Rich people who owns retaurants attract the rich customers.
4. Poor people working in a hawker centre attract the poor customers.
5. People who loves getting into trouble attracts trouble.
6. People who avoids trouble gets peace.
7. People who uses vulgarities as though it's their language hears vulgarities all the time.

If you haven't understand, or don't know what I'm trying to say, it's simple.
I'm trying to tell you that, you are what you think, you get what you think.
The word "Think" here doesn't simply means think. It means to think very deeply.
You know that our thoughts are classified into two types. Conscious and Subconscious.
To get what you are thinking, you have to think about it predominantly.
Meaning you have to think about it consciously, and subconsciously.
If you want to be $10 richer today, you must think "I will be $10 richer today," both consciously and subconsciously. What we often are doing now is that we consciously think, "I will be $10 richer today," but we don't realize that subconsciously, we are thinking, "But how is that possible? How can my thoughts make me richer without going to work? I've failed all my papers, that means I'm down on my luck, I definitely won't be able to be $10 richer today because of my bad luck."
This is why, we often don't get what we want. You never know, when you really think about it, you don't have to think about how you are going to achieve it, leave that to the Universe, leave that to your body's electrical charges that goes out into the Universe, causing the Universe to change and adapt to your thoughts. When you think about how, you are also thinking "I can't figure out how, so it's impossible for it to happen," so it won't happen.
If you're wondering, "How do I know what am I thinking subconsciously? If it's subconscious, that means I won't be aware of what I'm thinking."
No, you will know what you are thinking subconsciously. Do you realize that whenever you think of something, for some reason flashes of other stuffs would just come into your mind from time to time, and sometimes just comes in and refuses to go out? Those are what you're subconsciously thinking. So here's what to do, before you focus on something, think about firstly all the good stuffs, because you think of good stuffs, you get good stuffs. So after you think good stuffs, you slowly not just think of good stuffs, but good stuffs related to what you want. Always start with an end in mind. This means, when you start doing something, have a goal. Picture yourself completing that thing already. When you've done that, you know what you will want to be, what you will gain, and what you will be when you're doing it. Although you haven't done it, the result hasn't come to reality, but you've pictured it before, you've pictured the glory, the benefit, the sense of satisfactory before, and you know it's what you want. You will work towards it, your body and mind will be distracted by your willpower and thus you won't suffer as much as when you have no willpower.

Being arrogant is just like bringing your reputation down while thinking you're bringing it up.
Being arrogant is just like using up your self-esteem in the present, and leaving none for the future.
Being arrogant is just like having the wrong level of self-esteem.
Being arrogant is just like thinking people believes your words, but they don't.
Being arrogant is just like a liar telling others that he or she is a liar. They would act as if they believe.
Being arrogant is just like being a hypocrite.
Being arrogant is just like assuming you have everything, but the facts proves wrong.

This is for an internal problem today.. Between the people of the.. 4Ns?

2007-08-29T19:20:00.000+08:00

It's been long since I last had my hands on adobe photoshop and web building.
I think I shall leave my blog like this till end of N Levels, and then make a perfect template for myself.
I have further observed how much the trust between friends can cause each other to follow into their believes, their mistakes, their doings, their characteristics, or maybe I should just say, how much the trust between friends can cause them to become each other.
Laughter at Bishan Library and J8 today with Benjamin, Kevin, Fabian, Dixon was crazy.
Because of certain stuffs we decided to do yesterday, we now know how good it feels helping someone gain his or her love back after losing it. That sense of accomplishment, and how much one can change from not having something to having something. It's good. I believe we'll be treated to a meal soon too. :I
And also, that matter over the post, I believe although I wasn't being understood directly, it is put to rest, indirectly too, but still put to rest. Elaboration on how it's done shan't be posted up, at the most request the chatlog from me and I'll consider.

My Razer DB's right click has worn out, it isn't responding well.
My headset has worn out as well, the sound doesn't balance well, maybe it's my soundcard.
My speakers as well.
My mouse pad has stains, so much for $38.
My harddisk has practically no more space left.
My disk drive is faulty.
My graphic card is faulty.
My monitor flickers for no reason.
My monitor displays disproportionately.
My keyboard isn't sensitive enough for me.
This calls for a new computer, and a totally new gear.

" Seek first to understand, then to be understood. "
I apply this all the time, but when it comes to situations whereby, I seek to understand, but all I understand is that the opposition just either can't or wouldn't understand me. That's where I get stucked.
Whenever you meet such situations, don't you feel as though it's holding you back in life?
No matter what, it's just an obstacle. Usually obstacles like this are optional. You can choose to challenge yourself to these obstacles, or just avoid them. There's one thing about these obstacles that needs to be known. And it's that almost all these optional obstacles are just like erroneous questions in your examinations that can't be answered and will be cancelled out or edited later. Meaning these obstacles will either fail in life totally, or be changed by you.

I rushed through this post , I don't know how comprehensible is it, but anyway. :I

2007-08-28T19:08:00.000+08:00

After school was all about studying here, then studying there.
During school shall come in eventually later on.

Okay, looks like philisophical and meanings-hiding styles of writing really doesn't get any message across. So if I'm not wrong, the only thing that gets messages across is straightforwardness.

" Why do people tend to assume stuffs before knowing every single fact of the situation? "

Cressebella, I've come to find out about your blog through certain people. They don't matter here.
But anyway here's what I have to say. With straightforwardness.
- You've got your facts wrong. Point 4 of your announcements to the world in your post of 27th August, the very first sentence. The answer is, no.
- Please tell me how have I humiliated him.
- My shit problem? I don't think there would be any.
- Humiliate me? Hmm..
- I am telling you right now, I did not confront Darren. It all started when Fabian and some others got to know about it. And as Darren was walking beside them, TOWARDS me and Kevin, Fabian chose to talk to Darren about what's going on.
And guess what, he called me over, and so, why not? So then people, even those I don't know and those who don't know me came and surrounded not just Darren, but both of us (:
- I don't play by back up, but yeah I do need moral support at times. What if I tell you that I never bothered calling any backup? They just happen to be there. Trust me, if you were there, with curiosity and herd instincts, you would surround both of us as well.
- Why did I ask want he wants when he wants nothing? Okay, after he assumed that I was referring to him, I actually bothered typing a long post of explanation. But guess what, he responded with more offensive words and sentences? So whose looking for trouble here? Don't tell me that asking for face-to-face is asking for trouble, because it's not.
- I said shit about him first? Here, I must say again, what makes you think I'm referring to him? What makes him think so? Today he asked me, "Why so coincident?"
How am I supposed to answer that? "Oh because God wanted it like that." ? Come on, if you know how to use the word "Coincident" or "Coincidence", then think about how did the word come about. The answer is simply because it happens.
- I talk until so fucked up? Consider the factors, I didn't ask for it to happen today, I admit this was gonna happen, but not like this, not today. And another thing, as facial expression changes, the mood changes, and so does your tone. Please do understand this.
- I did not ignore. I did not hear you at all. Why would I react to scoldings from out of the class, or even in the class? I know when I deserve them. So when I don't, I ain't sensitive to any at all.
- Darren doesn't really seem offended, maybe just unhappy, but you speak as though you're offended than he is. Nice friend.
- Freako Bastard... Seems to be like "Freak, bastard".
- Grammatically and vocabularily, or err, "English-ly?" this two words don't fit me.

Darren, I don't know if you mind me mentioning your name, but since it already was, so just let it be.
- You told Fabian I spoke as though I wanted to pick a fight.
- You refused to accept that coincidences happen. You asked why.
- You were clearly, infront of everyone stating that the stuffs in your blog are indeed referring to me.
- But you later said you didn't mention any names, so I've been thinking too much?
- If so, I never mentioned names too, so what makes you think it's you?
- No wait, it is a fact that I wasn't referring to you.
- If coincidences don't happen, the word won't even exist. Friends living at two different ends of the country wouldn't be "near" to each other at least 2 times a month, 24times a year.
- I admit I did speak a bit harshly, it's because facial expression counts.

I'm looking forward to both of your responds, I don't know if both of you are able to read it by today, so for the next one or two days, if I see anymore complies that says "Let's carry on like this", then I'll do the confrontation, don't worry about big groups, I would let it all happen behind the scenes. And Cressebella, looks indeed do deceive, it's true. The opposite of innocent can mean afew things. The opposite if innocent can mean demonic, devilish, guilty, experienced, pretentious, sophisticated, complicated etc. I don't know in what way am I not innocent to you. But accept this facts based on the opposite meanings of "Innocent" that I can think of.They are that I am not demonic, I am not devilish, I am not guilty, I might be sophisticated and complicated, I can be pretentious, and my level of experiences vary depending on what's the subject.

2007-08-27T21:47:00.000+08:00

After school was Adam Khoo's Learning Technologies' Booster Session that lasted till 5.30PM.
To think that I was actually demotivated? Crap.
The trainer in charge was Freddy, we were basically thinking frog, prata and teh tarik throughout the session.
Ate at J8's KFC with Charles, Kevin, Dixon, headed to Thomson CC to study for a while.
Met Wei Lun, I almost couldn't recognise him. :I

And now, surprisingly and disappointingly, to you know who you are.
Here are some pointers, take them or leave them. :
- I posted certain stuffs about love blindness, I post stuffs about wisdom, love, and so on as it's somehow my trend in blogging.
- I mentioned, "refer to my previous post for a rough idea".
- I meant that you should refer to my previous post to understand why did I post about love blindness, the world doesn't revolve around you.
- You assumed my post on love blindness is referring to you, don't worry, I'd be at least a bit suspicious if I were you too.
- You assumed, and went on with your assumption.
- You, following your assumption, makes it sound as though I post to spike you.
- I explained in the post before this about many stuffs I think you had mistaken. I don't know which part you didn't understand, or maybe it was my poor English.
- So you, in your second respond, claim again that my post is referring to you, when I tried to get the message across to you that I wasn't, and you should find out more before you make your assumptions.
- You said you're not finding fault, and asked me to think again if I think so, I don't know but that somehow seems like you're pushing the title of being the "Fault-Finder" to me just incase anything happens.
- Whether you accept it or not, I will understand. But you are the one, without knowing what's going on between me and my other friends, assumed that my post is referring to you, and you responded. I read one of your recent post, saying you haven't lost or something because those barkers don't anger you and don't bother you. Something like that, I didn't memorise it. But if it doesn't bother you, why bother replying, why posting up special posts just for them, why bother filling your minds with insults and pushing out better thoughts just for this barkers? You can think that I hereby am somehow calling myself a barker, because I claim you wasted your brain cells responding to my post, in which you didn't have to because you got it all so wrong.
- You can say you've won, you can say I've lost, but I can also say I've never competed against you, have you competed against me? Was I a challenge? If so, wow thanks.
- You can say I'm jealous, you can ask me to give up. But hey, does this thing rmake you feel you're in total control of me or what? It had better not be, otherwise I would feel sorry for you.
- You said you ain't the one who started it, you're implying that I started it from my point of view. But scroll up and read, read my previous two posts, the fact that I started nothing cannot be changed. You assumed stuffs yourself, you started it with yourself.
- Yeah the first paragraph of your post is offending, so your mind is able to tell you that it is offending, and you are posting it up still. So what does that mean? You're trying to offend me? Seems like some kind of miscommunication within oneself. But I must tell you, such stuffs don't offend me, they just appeal to me as an attempt to. If you were really trying to offend me, then try harder.
- If lets say you want to offend me, it will only be face to face. Online and behind-the-back stuffs are done behind the monitor, the person because of certain reasons. Handphone stuffs are done through the network, also for certain reasons.
- If you think I'm interfereing your life with your girl, please do point out in what ways am I doing so.
- I advice you only respond to this post only if you are completely sure that you understand this post, and the previous two posts fully.
- Because from your respond to my previous post, it only tells me that almost not even a percent of my message to you got across. You can always ask me about my posts if you ain't sure about your understanding towards them.

2007-08-26T21:11:00.000+08:00

Okay, I shall post twice today.
From 6:09PM today as stated in the previous till now. From the time I posted my previous post till now.
Inbetween this time, I read through blogs like I always do to past time.
And I came across this guy's blog, which complied to my post on the 25th Of August, Year 2007.
Which consists of the following:"Don't argue if people says you're being blinded by love, because that would contribute to the fact that you are indeed, blinded by love. So when people say so, just slap yourself up and think thoroughly as to why do people say so. Once you've thought through it and have already woke up, you'll feel like killing yourself for being such a fool. Don't do it, this is a part of life. Making wrong decisions are a part of life."

Now I'm not into the communicating through blogs, testimonials kind of thing.
But anyway, dude I must say you're harsh with your words, yes you've never offended me, and I bear no grudge against you.
So before you get the facts right, don't use provoking sentences. Well it doesn't matter if you don't realize your words and unnecessary laughters are actually possible provokes.
Anyway, the happenings going on around your blog, your life, your girl, I believe has made you for a moment really want to know the other side of the story, or how the story would be told FROM the other side. In other words, ever since then, you've learnt that in future whenever something like that happens, you would find out the stories from both sides first. Right?
You leave me speechless as to how easily you assume and comply to my post on your blog just because you told yourself your side of the story, or your view of my post, and not know my side of it. What I'm trying to say here is that you've got your story, facts and assumption totally wrong. Don't think and assume too much. If you're wondering what I mean by my side of the story, just take a look at my previous post to give you a rough idea.

ASSUME = ASS out of U and ME.

I don't know for how long have you been reading my blog, but if you have anymore comments or complies, I'd prefer if they could come straight to my face. This applies to all my other fellow readers as well.

2007-08-26T18:09:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 11:45, bathed for my little buddy Winter and got scratched by him. Bad dog.
Went to the gym, went for a swim, and steam bathed with YueSheng.
Rachel messaged me, she touched on the topic of love blindness again, and started to confide in me and tell me lots.
If she'd told me yesterday, I'd probably have taught JingXiang a good lesson while we met in the morning yesterday already.
Look at them, almost everybody knows that their together. For how long? Reaching 4 years maybe.
Yet the reason behind what's going on now isn't considered big. The reason is too personal to be stated here, but to all those out there who can reason things out logically and sensibly, the reason isn't big, it's rather small and stupid as a matter of fact.
To those who know them, and know what's going on, Rachel isn't really at fault.
Death almost occurred, we all witnessed it and the atmosphere definitely isn't nice to describe. Death usually is resorted to only when one has really no other choice at that point of time.
If you can't think hard enough to reason out my point of view, by all means, ask me. Again, the reason can only be explained by relating to the incident and the reason, therefore I can't post it up.

Wang Li Hong - Luo Ye Gui Gen in English...? ( I'm testing out my translating capability :\ )
Here goes:

Looking up through the mist and at the dark clouds
That's when it's known to me as loneliness
Backpack stuffed with my needs
And I set off on the journey
The Sun's warmth is nowhere to be felt during the day
The night's blues is nowhere to be seen
Leaving me with no choice but to have a cold start
Staying comes along with remorse
Fate planned it all like that
And following nature's logic
No one is able to solve the mystery

Oh, being far from home, and not crying hysterically
Turning into autumn leaves
But I'm just like the leaves falling onto the ground, just that I'm falling into your heart
With sorrow and with loneliness
I'm fully willing to
But it seems I'm falling onto the ground and back into the roots rather than your heart
By now, I realize, my family will be by my side.
I'm willing to accompany you
To find the missing eternity between us
As I spoke, you kept silent
Till it all became only a dream of the present.

2007-08-26T00:15:00.000+08:00

Came home not long ago, around 12.30.
Went for steamboat at YueSheng's godmother's place. Chong Pang @ Marina Bay.
There was DunJie, TianDe, YueSheng and me.
I met YanLing there too.
We ate from 7+ till around 9.
Headed to that nearby bowling alley for toilet, left and went for a puff on the nearby streets while walking towards Marina Bay MRT.
We took the train and alighted at AMK, climbed 6x2 flights of stairs to the rooftop carpark of some HDB block.
Had another puff and fooled around till 11+, then left with YueSheng.

Don't argue if people says you're being blinded by love, because that would contribute to the fact that you are indeed, blinded by love. So when people say so, just slap yourself up and think thoroughly as to why do people say so. Once you've thought through it and have already woke up, you'll feel like killing yourself for being such a fool. Don't do it, this is a part of life. Making wrong decisions are a part of life.

2007-08-25T15:53:00.000+08:00

Gonna celebrate DunJie's birthday tonight, steamboat. :D.

2007-08-24T18:34:00.000+08:00

I've found out a lil' more things today, from JiaSheng, thanks.
People now are taught to not mind someone's past if it's bad.
Our lives are supposed to be centered around principles.
And one of my principle is, "Offend me and I will not forgive you till I let you have a taste of what you fed me."
This year, sometime ago, when something happened, many got to know about it, now it isn't a very big deal anymore.
Infact it never was.
But some immaturely think it's a rather big deal, and knowing the fact that it isn't, they try their best to make it sound big, look big, be big.
I have dealt with one already. Two more, which I thought weren't playing such big roles in it, were made known to me that they were the main culprits, and so please be surprised not that end of this year or next year, you get information saying that Brighton Yam has delivered punches into two others' faces for practically no reason.
This two right now, is more or less sucking up to me, should I be Mr. Nice Guy or Mr. Blow-Dealer?
I can't be bothered about this anymore for now.

Today was all about working out at the gym, taking pictures like nuts, and swimming with Rohaizad, Kevin, Dixon, QuinFei, JiaSheng, Fabian.

If everyone cared, and nobody cried.
If everyone loved, and nobody lied.
If everyone shared, and swallowed the pride.
Then we'd see the day, that nobody die.
And as we lie, beneath the stars.
We realize, how small we are.
If they could love, like you and me.
Imagine what, the world could be.

2007-08-23T22:11:00.000+08:00

Here's the 6 most important decisions you'll ever make in Life. :
1. School - Choosing the right school.
2. Friends - Choosing the right friends, being the right friend, keeping the right friends. Hypocrites?
3. Parents - How's the relationship going on?
4. Dating & Sex - Right partner? Hypocrite partner? Regrets? Too young and childish, too old and matured?
5. Addictions - Drugs.
6. Self-Worth - Self-esteem, self-confidence.
I'm lazy to elaborate, some other time. Screw me for doing so, you may.

Good or bad, everyone has a comment for everything. Being speechless about something isn't being commentless. There's a difference.

As I think of all the ups and downs I've been through in life, for the past short 16 years, I feel kind of incomplete. I know what I want, I know by the time I die, what would I at least have. I have already brought myself there in my mind. I saw wealth. But back to the present, I don't want to think about how, I only care about the fact that I know I'll make it there.
It's amazing how me and my brothers have become who we are today. My elder twin brothers are 19, I'm 16, there's a 3 year gap.
When we were young, they used to gang up against me, hit me. They are big sized whereas I'm small sized. I lived that kind of life from at least the age of 3 till the age of 10. But I in return often caused much problems for them as well. And we all started maturing. Who would have thought that we would actually not care about those beatings and saboteurs anymore? Now looking at my 11 year old little brother, I recall many stuffs. And then again, I look at others. Have they gone through this? Will they? Or are they going through it right now? This is considered a family problem. It is true that you are who you think you are, it works, it comes true, it is a fixed law. If you think you can make something happen in which you can't at the moment, in time to come, you WILL be able to. So why can't people just think "I am a good boyfriend/girlfriend", "I am a good brother/sister", "I am a good father/mother", "I am a good friend" ? Why can't people face the facts that it is all in the mind? It is almost as good as saying, everything including natural happenings starts from within human, not from without.
And within us, is not just our organs that works as supportive systems for the thing that is truely within us, our mind, the generator and creator of everything. It's hard to prove this, but one example of how powerful our minds are is that one typical human body is able to light up an entire city for more than a week.

By the way, to those people who think this sentence would refer to you, you really need to expand your minds and think. Stop being obnoxious, and acting as though you ain't, stop tirading, stop acting like a varsity kind of a person. Stop acting like you're a milestone, stop disdaining.

2007-08-21T21:40:00.000+08:00

Borderline failure for Chemistry, borderline pass for English paper 1, borderline failure for Chinese paper 1, damn it man. Today, like many other days, was filled with going back and forth between school and j8. :\
We went to j8 for the sake of going there, came back to school, went to j8 to accompany Benjamin to get a birthday present for his girl. And back to school.... again. Today was also more or less a sparring day, between me, Fabian and Kevin. Friendly spars tho.
Anyway, I love the Law Of Attraction.
I believe, I can reason out exactly why certain things are going on now.

To those guys whom I met behind Thomson Plaza, ~~fuck~~ yourself, you're a disgrace to men. Go learn some self defence, and yes, feel very useless. You losers made my day and pretty much boosted my self esteem and confidence through victory, guess I should thank you. (:

2007-08-20T21:59:00.000+08:00

Right now, I'm considering what Timothy said. He said I should change my blog.
I should change it into a blog that is better known as blog where people find motivation.
I loved it when he said so man. Makes me feel like a life saver. :\
Anyway today after school went for prata at Sin Ming Rd Blk24, then went to play ball till 7.30, burst a blister on my right foot partially, and developed one on the left. I'm feeling particularly not right today, I feel I should seclude myself from people for the time being. Don't know why, tell me why. Never mind, don't tell me, I'm afraid I'll feel worse.

Fear is something that everyone has.
And I wanna talk about the fear of losing something, someone.
Why do people keep working everyday, for long hours, just for money, and they wouldn't mind neglecting others just to work? Why can't they make money work for them instead?
Because people are scared to fail, people are scared to lose the money, so they keep earning, just to feel as though they are preventing themselves from losing their money by the day. But as they earn more, they fear they would lose their money more, and so they work more. This applies to losing of things, losing of people that you "have", losing of skills. When you go out there and make something yours, you have conquered the fear of taking risks. But if you haven't conquered the fear of losing something, why bother making something yours? Many business failures out there fail once and don't try again, because they fear that they would lose the money invested once again. Some don't even dare to start their first, just because they've seen how bad are the conditions of the TRUE business failures. The FALSE business failures are those who fail, learn, start another business and do better. They are the winners, they will make it. They know when they fail, they will definitely still be standing strong because they have no fear towards taking risks, and losing something. Anything is possible when and where there's no fear.
So the conclusion is, if you aren't prepared to lose something or somebody, then don't even think about having em.
If you already have that something or somebody, and you aren't prepared or don't want to lose em, think about how you got em, and WHY did you make em yours. Stop being stubborn and narrow minded.

2007-08-19T21:01:00.001+08:00

1.Bad habits are like comfortable beds - Easy to get into but hard to get out of. On the other hand, once in place, good habits are just as hard to break as bad ones.
2. Information is not equal to intelligence.
Two things I just felt like saying, and I wanna emphasise on the second. Doing well academically doesn't mean you are smart. You are just plain memorising and getting used to formulas, not life.
Gym-ed for about 3 hours with Kevin today, had prata, and home.

I have been asking classmates, schoolmates, friends from other schools many questions regarding their plans for the future. I asked questions like:
"Are you going to secondary five?" NOT "Do you plan to go to secondary five?"
"Are you going to do well for your O's? NOT "Do you plan to do well for your O's?"
"Will your relationship last long?"
"Are you going to confess?"
I ask them in a way whereby they answer me and at the same time deciding their future. These are just two examples, there are many others.
I get answers like:
"I don't know, I'll try."
"Although recently we've been having some communicational problems, we'll try and overcome it."
"I'm not sure if I should. I'll try my best."

You see, people often don't realize that whenever they set a goal, they tend to only reach somewhere near it or not even near. Only few reaches it.
When someone asks you a question, you decide an answer. And your decision of answer will give you the consequence of it. Like whenever you go to macdonalds, you are asked if you wanna change your drink to something else. If you say no, you get "no change of drink", and when you say yes, you choose your drink and you get "your change of drink". The bottom line here is "What you decide, is what you get."

So now, look at the example questions and answers I've stated. There are common words in all the answers that represents indecisiveness. Those words are, "Try" and "I don't know".
When you say no, you get "no change of drink", and when you say yes you get your "change of drink".
When you say I don't know, you are confusing the consequence, you are letting whatever or whoever who sets the consequence, choose your consequence. So when you say I don't know, the counter person would give you the most expensive so that the company earns more, meaning you pay more. Or the counter person would give you the standard drink, giving you nothing special. When you say I try, chances are you would fail. Because right from the start, you have already lacked the confidence in yourself would have been already telling yourself continuously, "If I fail, it doesn't matter, I'm just trying anyway.", so in the process of TRYING to make it, you aren't feeling the need to make it, you aren't pushing yourself, you aren't considering the consequences.
An example of the consequence of using "Try" as an answer:
"Even if somehow there is a must for us to break up, we will try and hold on to each other."
If a couple says this to each other, and one day they had a quarrel or a fight that brings them to the verge of breaking up, both would then think, "We promised to try to hold on together, it isn't a must. If we don't make it, then we will just fall out of the relationship, we tried our best anyway. We are left with no other choice."

Here's the thing. Decide for yourself. By giving definite answers, setting definite goals, having definite principles.
Saying I don't know means you are letting others decide for you. You don't get to control your life.
Saying I will try means you are looking down on yourself, you have no confidence in yourself, you don't expect much from yourself.

2007-08-19T00:41:00.000+08:00

我今天本来是应该和俊廆,优俊那几个一起去打撞球,但后来我却和顿杰还有天德去打电动游戏,然后到了附近的咖啡馆去吃晚饭.我们吃了之后大概有七点中了, 他们两陪我去找闻围向他拿回他欠我的钱.拿了钱后,我们看到了他们打撞球也想打,所以就去到了红茂乔去打.我们打到十一点多才决定告别回家.
到现在,虽然只差不多75%地能融合我生命一时的经验,我还是对"不在乎天长地久,自在乎曾经拥有."着句话很敏感.

华语:
你们应该知道,现在大多数的青少年一谈上恋爱,一定会记住他们在一起有多久了,同意吗?
这样做并没有错,而且是一见很正常的做法.但我认为有许多的青少年很夸张地在这样做.
想想看,现在的青少年是怎么样"记录"他们感情的长短?有的在一起走了一天,算一天,有的走一月算一月.很少有算年的.到现在,我看过最久的一对虽然要到了第三年,但怎么说也只不过是两年多.这几年跟我们老爸老妈的感情比起来算得了什么?那几个月,几天,也算得了什么呢?当我看见一对走一天,走一月,算一天,算一月的情侣,我看得出他们除非能超过第二年,是不会在一起超过五年.算天算月的一对会这样做是因为一或两人对他们之间的感情没有细心,认为不会在一起很久,所以每当他们在一起多一天,一月,他们会感到很开心,好象刚度过难关.这的意思是说,因为有了这断感情,每天变成了一个难关,多处了一个带给一或两人压力的原因.因为性格与思想不够成熟,两人就过不了这大概730天,每天在加难的感情/爱情考验.

English:
You people out there should know that the teenage couples nowadays keep track of how long they've been together. Right?
There's nothing wrong with doing so, and it's a very normal thing to do. But I think majority of these teenagers are overdoing it, very sarcastically and at the same time despising oneself or themselves. Think about it, how do they keep track of their relationship's span? They count by days, by months. Hardly any makes it to more than a year or two. But there are though, the longest teenage relationship I've seen so far is two years plus, reaching three, but still two years plus ONLY. These few years can't be compared to our parents' love for each other. Let alone days and months of a relationship. Whenever I see a newly coupled teenage couple counting by days and months, I immediately foretell they won't last more than 5 years, unless they make it through the first two year, as in two years time, there would already have been a slightly stronger bond between both parties, unless any "Chance to show how much I would do for you" incident happens before then. But still, it's hard as teenagers nowadays get into a relationship without thinking much. Why do they count by days and months? It's because they have no confident in the relationship, thinking it wouldn't last long. So being in the relationship for a day or month more is just like making it through an examination with borderline results. This means that being in that relationship is bringing pressure and stress to one or both parties in their everyday life, having to take an "examination" everyday, and heaving a sigh of relief the next day as though the results of yesterday's "examination" is borderline. This repeats. And because of immaturity, lack of intelligence, confidence and other aspects needed to maintain a relationship, the couple then fails to make it through the first two years, 730 days test of their love for each other. So unless you are sure your relationship won't be like that, don't even think saying stuffs like "I will love you forever", "I will be by your side for life", "You are my life". You will definitely find yourself contradicting yourself. (:

And not forgetting, screw chinese.

2007-08-17T21:45:00.000+08:00

我的话语很烂, 请在读的人别笑,谢谢.
今天我打算用话语来写网上日记.
我本来是要昨天这么做的,但应因为我必须读书, 所以没有做到.
我今天花了一整天在体育馆里和朋友一起训练.
明天, 我将会去打桌球.
不知会不会去看电影,我钱不够用, ):

昨天, 我看见了一个看起来不开心的人.
看见了他之后,我走了多几步.
走着走着, 我却看见了另他不开心的原因.
因为哪个原因也另我不开心...
请告诉我,当你和一个人之间的距离越来越大, 而你不想事情是这样,应该这么办?

2007-08-16T22:00:00.000+08:00

What are the different kinds of friends?
IMO, starting from young to date,
1. Your neighbours.
2. You relatives' friends whom you have met before. By now, I doubt any of them recognises you.
3. Kindergarten friends, besides those who goes into the same primary school or lives near you, I think the rest can't recognise you anymore as well.
4. Primary schoolmates, this is where some people already decide their lifetime friends(Not lifetime Buddies, they are different.)
5. Secondary schoolmates, where some decide their lifetime friends as well, and also where some change lifetime friends.
6. Friends whereby you get into a relationship with, for fall, or even quarrel with.

And in all these friends, there are those who have not met you for long, remembers you, but doesn't want or dare to recognise you due to shyness or anything of that sort.
There are those whereby you fell out with or fell for sometime ago or recently, and they choose to never be involved with you anymore.
And then, there are those you thought you know, who turns out to be hiding stuffs about him or her that you would never ever like, probably because it's against your principles or something. An example is someone who first spoke to you like a very nice, kind hearted person, and later on when both of you got closer, he or she shows the inner self of em. Which is something you don't like. This point particularly applies to many relationships.
Solution to this problems? Adapt to them, change them, or leave em, adapt to him or her, change him or her, or leave him or her.
Ok, I basically just typed a whole load of crap and actually, friends are only considered friends if they stand by you, otherwise they are just acquaintances.
Tomorrow, DNT, last paper.
Saturday, pool marathon again.
Sunday, available, ask me out please.

2007-08-15T21:53:00.000+08:00

Oh crap, halfway through exams and my studying spirit simply vanishes.
It's like driving halfway on a 10mile no petrol kiosks or garage and your engine fails you.
Time to get it fixed.

Mr Samuel Goh cut my hair today. Bastard.
Bio and chemistry today was shit.
After school I went to get myself a proper haircut and then went to Terence's house to play ball.
Sweat quite alot. It's been long since I last sweat so much, after sweating alot. Probably was drilling my mind into it, driving out all other thoughts.
I wish I never knew how to think of the bad stuffs, sad stuffs, heartbreaking stuffs, disappointing stuffs, depressing stuffs, basically all the negative stuffs.
So I would only think positive, and gain positive.
I pretty much exposed Jun Liong big time already, feeling kind of bad.
But compared to certain stuffs he has done, I think I've yet to gain enough justice for many and of course, myself.
Tonight, I shall study till late, get that academical drive back into my mind, and carry it on till friday.

"Don't think, I wanna know, I gotta go, before I go crazy. I let go, in everyway, cos anyway, I know that...." - Can't Break Thru, By Busted.
I remember when Alan said I had a heart with feelings that lacks a bit of feelings toward love.
Remember the reason why he said so, and it was because I hardly felt for any.
Haha,, here's a bit of a surprise, my feelings toward love is no longer limited to one person like how it was years ago.
Recently it became two, thought you should know man. As for you, being the usual faggot, I believe it's a million.

2007-08-14T22:12:00.000+08:00

Papers ended at 11:45AM today,
Went for KFC at J8, then back to school, and to J8 again, then gym.
Rohaizad's table tennis is good man.
Tomorrow is chemistry and biology, I don't know but I feel like flunking both of them.
Feel like, but I won't though. :I

Looking at how possessive some people can be in a relationship, it really disgusts me, makes me think that they are pathetic cowards that have totally no confidence in themselves, hence fearing so much they might lose and at the same time showing that they do not have faith and trust in their loved ones.

2007-08-13T22:28:00.000+08:00

Thinking back, again? I've been thinking back alot, about all the good times I had.
From primary school, till yesterday.
Primary school life was all about playing catch daily, even in class, gaming like nuts and all. And maybe a bit of romance as well?
Secondary school life's different. Hanging out with my primary schoolmates, and secondary.
Often going out in big pacts, small pacts, going out just to "counsel" people and just listen to all they have to rant about, being everyone's confidant, going out just to unwind myself, going out to study and all.
It's really amazing how much memories can be stored in our minds.

2007-08-12T16:53:00.000+08:00

A break from mugging.

I'm thinking back again, at the good experiences, hoping I'll attract them once again.
I still remember.
How, When, Where, What. Everything.
Hanging out almost daily, till late night, and sometimes not just late night, but stay overs.
The usual places. I still visit.
Things you gave, I gave, we did, we shared, we said, we saw, we know, we felt.
That fear you possessed when the supposingly scary movie wasn't scary at all. I liked it.
When we struggled hand(s) in hand(s), face by face, just to put a string through a hole while waiting for that movie.
When I made myself free even though I'm not just because you called.
When I accompanied you here and there even when I'm so tired I can't even recall what I said seconds ago.
I don't know how, I could do you so wrong.

N-Levels preliminaries, I'm gonna own you flat.
N-Levels, I'm gonna make the certificate I obtain from you something I wouldn't need at all in life.
Same goes for O-Levels to A-Levels, and higher.
I will make myself the certificate, the entitlement to everything, the abundance of everything.

2007-08-11T01:45:00.000+08:00

Met KianWei at Thomson CC, headed to school, Charlie didn't let us in because we were in slippers. So we got ourselves each a pair of shoes. And went back. JiaWei came later.
After doing our DNT, we went to Mr Zaidi's house, meeting QuinFei and JiaSheng at the same time.
Worked till 6.30PM, went for a swim till around 7.30, and left for home.
Now it's 1.48AM, later at roughly 8.30AM, I'll have to meet up with KianWei and go to school again. Shit man. But sometimes working makes me feel good.

I see his being very possessive.
I see also from his possesiveness that he has nothing much, so you are alot to him.
I see you have much more than he does.
I see the results already. (:
I see that I still love the way I judge things.

I'm spinning around in a tornado of emotions.

2007-08-10T00:58:00.000+08:00

One hour and fifty three minutes ago.
Or rather, yesterday.

Met up with Charles, Dixon, Kevin, Terence, QuinFei, Jiasheng.
Played pool at monstercue till about 6 or 7?
Ate at Plaza Sing's BK. Then headed towards Esplanade to see the fireworks.
Didn't get a really good spot, but still could see the fireworks and even got a video of it.
Went to Concourse for another round of pool till 11.30, then headed home.

Observations of the day:
-Through a game of pool, people easily show how bad a loser they are, and how much they can't accept certain facts.
-As people say that you should think before you speak, people who can't think really shouldn't speak.
-Comments are meant to be kept to yourself until asked for.
-The Law Of Attraction truely works, it works wonders. People, get to know about it, seriously. There would be no regrets.

And speaking of The Law Of Attraction. Everyone experiences it.
Ask yourself, have you ever thought of somebody, not the person you love or what, maybe someone you haven't seen for ages.
And in the next few minutes, or days, he or she appears? This might not be face to face, maybe through a text message, through a chatline, or phone call. I'm sure you all experienced this before, and not just once.
Know why such stuffs happens? It's because of the Law Of Attraction. I don't know but I really can't seem to find any explanation to go against the Law Of Attraction.
Break down the three words, Law Of Attraction.
The word "Law" simply means a rule, a defined thing, it can't be changed, it is fixed, it is logically, reasonably and sensibly fixed.
The word "Attraction" means what you're bringing to you, like how a magnet attracts another. There is this force. How the magnet attracts another has a fixed explanation, a fixed law. The Law Of Attraction explains how the magnet attracts one another, and it can't be changed, it's so true, it's the best explanation, it has no mistakes, it won't make any.
The Law Of Attraction is working forever, everywhere, and in everyone.
Like the law of how magnet attracts one another, the same law is set for our thoughts.
We are a magnet, but we are magnets that can change what we attract.
Our thoughts determines what we attract.
What we think, is what we attract to us in our life. So what we think, is what we will get.
Nowadays I focus on, think, and imagine of what I want the next day to be like, or what will the happen the next few days.
And they really do happen. Not like what I've expected but still it happens, with a bit of mistakes that affects nothing.
Take today for an example, or rather, yesterday.
As I was short of money to go out and have fun, I already pictured my dad giving me money since I thought of having fun today/yesterday. And so he did, and he even gave me an extra of 10dollars. But you people might say it's normal for a dad to give his son money whenever he is going out.
Then, as I was getting changed, I thought I would meet this specific person, one of my neighbour. I thought of testing out the Law Of Attraction, so as I was getting changed, which was half an hour before leaving home. I fully focused myself on meeting that neighbour. I told myself "I would meet that neighbour of mine, I would meet that neighbour of mine".
And yes, I got into the lift, the door opened, I went out of the lift lobby and there she is, picking up something she dropped.
On top of that, I kept thinking NeighbourNeighbourNeighbour so much that the Universe made me meet two neighbours.
I also met Ashley at the bus stop. And before that when I looked at the time, I consistently told myself I'll meet the guys on time, although I left house kind of late. So when I reached the bus stop, which is when I met ashley, the bus came. 162, leading to Dhoby Ghaut, that was it. I had to run abit, but still caught up with it.

I'm lazy to conclude.

2007-08-09T00:32:00.000+08:00

" 不在乎天长地久, 只在乎曾经拥有. "
"Everlasting or not, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you've once had it, felt it, experienced it."

Fabian introduced this saying to me, and it appealed to me.
It actually made me feel much better.
Anyway, 35minutes and afew seconds ago was the day wherey National Day was celebrated.
I headed home after school, swam, and Boris called, saying he wants to swim.
So he, Gary and WeiWen came, gym-ed and swam, including me. So I swam twice.
WeiWen and Gary left, me and Boris went to eat at Shunfu Mart. Damn the stall holder for not telling me it's free of charge to have an extra serving of noodles. :\
When we finished eating, the sky was still bright.
We got off the chairs we were sitting nicely on, went to the side of the road and sat there emo-ing and crapping until the night lights were on and didn't realize it until some time later.
Headed home.

People, please know where you stand. Don't take the "You are who you think you are" quote for granted.
It's true, but please, although you are who you think you are, you are also who people think you are.
And it takes time for people to change their thoughts of who they think you are.

2007-08-07T22:04:00.000+08:00

I'm thinking back, although it's contradicting my understanding of the Law Of Attraction. :\
I suddenly thought of Counter-Strike.
I still remember those days when we were playing it hardcore.
Training at home, at LAN Shops, going for countless numbers of competitions.
Participating in the GXL, getting blacklisted because we were accused of hacking. Haha.
Inter-School competition, won until we played against some poly guys and lost.
Was a great experience, suddenly playing in a competition with schoolmates, whom I hardly ever play with.
The teamwork wasn't there, we were depending totally on personal skills. And I must say we weren't that bad.
Besides the violence and gore in competitive/officialy games nowadays like Dota, CS generally, what's so bad about them?
I'm a CS player, so I shall talk about it. Although I've stopped playing it, like how I used to anymore. I hardly play it already.
In CS, there are two kinds of game play. One is what we call "Public" and the other is "Match". Public refers to when you play anyhow, in any game, with anybody, with as many and as little people as you want. You wouldn't want to rely on teamwork in Public games to win, you would be pissed off, hence you rely on your personal skill. In a Match, or rather, a game whereby competition rules and regulations apply, you re playing in a team, as a team, your team. So you can rely on your teammates for cover and back up, but of course, you need personal skills as well.

I've completed my DNT, but it isn't the way I want it. Damn.

I've alot of stuffs left unsaid. Alot. So much I think my body's weight is made up of them.

2007-08-05T17:25:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Dad.

Yesterday went to play pool with my brother, Kevin and Dixon.
My brother left and we went for dinner at KFC.
Then we saw Hong Loong, he asked us to visit his Grandfather's wake.
And so we did, we paid our respects and left for home.
Today, went to Malaysia, ate at CitySquare, Kim Gary's Restaurant, bought a cake, and back here.
Gonna celebrate out later.

I'm starting to feel exhausted.

2007-08-04T00:41:00.001+08:00

Mr Hafiz gave me a great idea.
But it's not great knowing how much time I have left for this great idea.
After school, went to J8, and back to school. Then to eat at Thomson Plaza, and get books.
Was supposed to play ball, but the court was full of match players.
So me, Dixon and Kevin ended up playing table tennis till 10:56pm.

My thoughts are messy.
That ain't a good thing.

2007-08-02T21:57:00.000+08:00

Watched The Simpsons after school today with Charles and Dixon.
Really nonsensical show, but all-in-all it's simply to remind people about how much pollution we are causing.
Bought The Simpsons' shirt with charles for $13 each from Bossini.
I like the caption and illustration on it.
It says, "Fatherhood is 99% dedication, and 1% humiliation."
I don't have a picture of it, I'm lazy to upload pictures. Well, maybe in the future when I'm not so tired.
I've too many things to focus on, but then again, I'm thankful for having them.

Everything you resist, would persist, ever realized that?
There are many stuffs I've observed and confirmed.
So much I don't know how to share it all.
I understand why, the successful keep saying, "Think Positive".
Here's a hint.
Atoms and Energy, which is smaller? If you think thoroughly, Energy is.
So we learn in school that everything n Earth is made up of Atoms.
But the fact is, everything, including the hardest rock, the toughest metal, gold, is made up of Energy.
So, knowing our body is made up of Energy, and each time we think, our mind emits a signal, an Energy.
And since each level of Energy has a different level of frequency, like television sets, many of us don't really know how they work.
All of us knows that whenever we change the channel, it emits a signal with a specific Energy level to the satellite or whatever is out there.
That then receives the signal, and puts your television set on the frequency level that signal is on.
From here, you see that, what the television set emits, is what the television set gets. True enough?
Now, our minds, we, our body. Works exactly the same. You see, as we change our thoughts, we are just like changing the channel, and changing the frequency that we are on. As you think, you emit a signal of a specific level of frequency out to the Universe. And it will receive your signal, just like the satellite or whatever the Television set emits its signal to.
So as you think of something, you get something. Of course, many people don't agree.
Because as you think of something, you are subconscioucly thinking of thousands and millions of other stuffs.
And out of this thousands and millions, there are lots of thoughts that contradict what you are conscioucly thinking.
For example, you tell yourself you want $10 in the next 10 minutes, so you think "I want $10 in the next 10minutes", but subconsciously, you are thinking "Why did I lose so much money the other time?", "I lost $10 yesterday", "I dropped $10 in the drain last week", "I forgot to collect the change of $500!".
You see, the signal we emit to the Universe comes from our predominant thoughts, or in other words, the think we are thinking about the most. So from my example, whatever the Universe has definitely nothing to do with gaining $10, but instead has alot to do with losing much money like that other time, losing $10, dropping more $10s in the drain, and forgetting to collect changes of $500++.
The bottom line here is, focus on what you want, make you your thoughts are predominantly what you want.

2007-08-01T22:00:00.000+08:00

I've been talking about hypocrites.
Now, a very good foolproof MSN chatlog with one of this hypocrite from GuangYangSecondarySchool is going around.
I have it too, do ask me for it.

Today, was emo day some how. And also, only two periods of lesson.
That's all. :D

2007-07-31T22:02:00.001+08:00

Http://www.thesecret.tv - Website of the book I've been reading.

Nothing much.
School, DNT, J8, home.
Lacquered my jelutongs for DNT once again, for better quality and look.
Me and JiaWei spray painted our stuffs brown. I don't know what brown, but its a nice brown.
Like the brown you get from coffee with extra milk.

It was indeed a large embarassment to me caused by myself, out of rashness, I won't say its you. I've gotten over it anyway.
"You are the one thing, I can't keep 'part of me, and Baby I just can't do without you, you're all I need, I know I didn't say much, but girl you're the only one.. I'm tripping without you." - Everytime I, by Mario Vazquez, I edited some words though.

2007-07-30T20:51:00.000+08:00

Froze on the bus this morning.
Had chemistry and mother tongue, then was geography before recess.
The relief teacher, Ms Foo has an attitude that stinks badly.
She held us back for the entire recess, and as a result, Diana Koh came, so we were given our recess the next period, yes, just us, 4N2, the whole canteen.
After school went to lacquer my jelutongs in the DNT workshop and that's all I can do for the day. More tomorrow.
Went to J8 to find Charles, Dixon, Kevin, Rui Lin, Kevin, Fabian and Kai Loon.
RuiLin and Kai Loon left, and we went to the gym at my place.
Table tennis, work outs till roughly 6.30. That's all.

The Law Of Attraction can easily be applied on stuffs that have not much negative possibilities.
But when it CERTAIN things, it is really hard. But I won't give up.
Beautiful not just for show, time that someone let you know.
They don't see you like I do.

2007-07-29T02:26:00.000+08:00

Supposed to watch a movie today, but me and Charles weren't able to get anyone, most went for soccer. So I went to gym with YueSheng from 1.30 to around 4 plus.
Went to ThomsonCC to fill up our stomachs, and played ball till 5plus.
Came home, continued reading on the Law Of Attraction, did abit of DNT, and now still reading.
The Law Of Attraction works wonders. :D
You see, why do we have thoughts? We just think, and think?
No, our thoughts are very powerful.
If you are able to sort of, match everything nicely. From thoughts to feelings, to actions.
If they all match, you will get everything that's in your mind.
Beware of course, this includes getting negative stuffs.

2007-07-28T01:09:00.000+08:00

Rainy day.
After school, went to Toa Payoh.
Went to JB to buy stuffs, I bought a pair of shoes, and 3 pants.
When I came home, I found out that 4N2 won the relay today.
I don't know how on Earth did that happen, but congratulations anyway.

Here are different types of relationships:
1. Both parties have known each other very well for a long time before officially going steady. This are relationships that would last.
2. Both parties don't know each other very well, they just make each other happy. This are relationships that woudn't last as long, break ups are usually because of quarrels or any other incompatibilities.
3. Both parties rush into it. Trust me, they will rush out of it as well.
4. Hypocrites that has a very handsome/pretty front. Relationships whereby either one or both parties are hiding their true self. How long it would last would depend on how long one or both can act.

2007-07-26T21:23:00.000+08:00

Rainy day.
Charles, Dixon, Kevin came to my house after school, my younger brother came home later.
5 of us went to Thomson CC to eat, played ball till about 5.
Went to the gym till and worked out till 8. Played a lot of table tennis as well.
I want you, I need you, I love you.
I am really really gonna burst.
Too much have been left unsaid.

2007-07-25T20:23:00.000+08:00

Late nights back then.
I don't know how I could do you so wrong.

I've been visualizing a lot.
A lot about some stuffs.
I don't know.
Anyway, today after school went to j8, missed out some fun.
Me and Kevin went to Thomson CC to eat, bball-ed, and left.
I'm at a lost with my DNT artefact. Which I'm not supposed to be. :\

Why do people analyze stuffs so poorly? I don't know if that question is right, but I think I'm right about it.
People who think so too, look around you.
Just blink you eye in a shopping mall filled with people you know, and you can easily spot at least 10 at once.
10 that can't analyze sentences properly, 10 that can't understand your emotions, 10 that gets angry over little stuffs,
10 that claims to be your close friend, your loved one, but gets angry with you over small matters.
These people, what do they lack?

2007-07-24T20:08:00.000+08:00

C'mon Brighton, wake up, move on.

Reached home not long ago.
Today quite afew got suspended, thruancy and all.
After school, went to j8 to get food, and back to school, slacked around and went to j8 again for dinner.
Left with Kevin, chatted all went to Thomson CC, he ate again and we continued chatting as he was eating. We gossiped alot. Well, not exactly, we were just stating out every single fact, good or bad, about people around us. It's kind of surprising how many hypocrites and fools there are around us.
I just watched the video of me and Boris duckwalking and hopping up the slope to the school's gate. Hahaha, gay-ed.

I've never liked fictional books. I only read non-fictions.
Recently I've been reading a book on the Law Of Attraction, Titled "The Secret", by Rhonda Byrne.
The Law Of Attraction, to me, is expected to be the "Law Of Attracting/Seeking Attention" to many of you out there as a first impression.
But no, Attraction here refers to how you bring things to you. And by now you should already know what is this book about, roughly. It's how to attract success, generally, but actually many other things as well, through your mind, which is a very powerful thing, or rather, the most powerful thing in this Universe.
Each and everyone of our body has electric charges, and emits a frequency.
Like televisions, we use our remote controls to emit a frequency out to the Universe/Satellite(telling it what channel we want), it receives our message, and then gives it to us, on our television screens.
Now, your mind is the remote control. Let's say, you think Channel 8(Positive Thoughts), so you emit a frequency saying "Channel 8(Positive Thoughts)" out to the Universe/Satellite, it receives the message, and then gives you Channel 8(Positive Outcomes), in your life(your television screen). There's alot more, I shan't elaborate.

2007-07-23T21:36:00.000+08:00

Any idea how hurting is it, to not be able to, or not know how to help.
When someone who means a lot to you, is in low spirits, is on the verge of being a step closer to another person out there anytime, without and "not being able to" know the reason why?

You are the one thing I couldn't keep a part of me.

2007-07-22T20:53:00.000+08:00

Mario Vazquez - Everytime I..

Ohhh yeah
Oh, oh
I was
I was always quick to trip in turn and say I'm sorry
Guess I
Guess I always thought that nigga made everything ok
I did
Did my share of dirt I know you probably heard about me
When you
When you asked how I would just lie to your face
And I
I didn't appreciate
Even when you walked away
I didn't realize
That you were the one thing
I should've kept 'part of me
And baby I just can't deal without you
Your all I need
I know I didn't say much
But girl your the only one
I'm trippin' without you
I think about it everytime I
You are the one thing
I should've kept 'part of me
And baby I just can't deal without you
Your all I need
I know I didn't say much
But girl your the only one
I'm trippin' without you
I think about it everytime I
I, I, I, I, I, I
Everytime I
I, I, I, I, I, I, I
Told you
Told you you were insecure when you'd be asking questions
I had
Had you second guessing yourself and what you mean to me
If I
If I could take it back I would (I would)
If I could take it all back I would (I would)
Instead of playing games
It's time I play for keeps
And I
I didn't appreciate
Even when you walked away
I didn't realize
Everytime I
Think about how you use to do
When I'm nights alone when
I'm rockin' with you
I can't help but kick myself in the ass
Cuz I'm sittin' here about to blow it ('bout to blow it)
I know I can't take no more
Time to change it up for sure
Cuz I'm not tryna let you go

Nice song.

2007-07-21T00:11:00.000+08:00

Just came home not long ago, watched The Transformers.
And because of sitting positions, now the whole of my left arm is aching.

Academically, I'm still going up.
Otherwise, I think I'm going down.
I've been thinking and wondering.
I just can't seem to answer myself.
I feel as though my heart's being twisted.
Tell me, what flaws do I have.
Well, not the external flaws though.

Anyway, listening to S.E.N.S's Wish can really make you cry.

2007-07-19T20:22:00.000+08:00

Whenever I step into Ms Vasuki's class, I will feel totally turned off. As though it's really impossible to study there. After school, DNT-ed and went to Thomson CC to play ball, with Boris, ZhengJie, Dixon, Fabian, Kevin.
JX and Michael came later. Some little boy as well. I know I shouldn't be playing ball, but I forced myself anyway. And as a result, pain. We stopped around 7.30 and headed home.

Tell me what's worth your soul, tell me what's the reason that you hold on.

2007-07-18T19:23:00.000+08:00

Racial Harmony Day.

Indeed racial, and harmonious.
Fights and fights. First was Aznan, not very surprising, it happens mentally everyday.
Then was Fabian, how deadly can human eyes be?
A stare can lead to fight and even internal bleeds.
How is this possible? Is it to do with self-proclaimed-and-spread assumption of what a "stare" means?
Or what? Childishness? Maturity? Do people see words being projected in other people's eyes?
Nowadays, the stare of a decent looking girl either mean she is interested in you, or there is something on you that attracts attention. The stare of a punk-looking female means she is unhappy with you, this also goes to any guy.
These are just general assumptions. It's all IMO.

When you look at stuff that hurts you, until it's out of your sight, it feels as though you're dipping your body in freezing cold acid.

2007-07-17T19:41:00.000+08:00

I'm in dubiety.
Free me from it.

Girl, you're just way too fine.
Gotta be treated as one of a kind.
Girl, use your mind, don't be just another dime.

Today I woke up kind of late, but made it to school on time though.
Haha, sometimes it's really impossible to study with my classmates.
School ended, I carried on with my DNT artefact with KianWei till about 4.15, went to look for the rest.
Slacked around in school, left with Boris and ZhenHui.

Don't bother absorbing nonsensical, illogical, unreasonable stuffs.
They can really screw you up.

2007-07-16T17:54:00.000+08:00

Hey.
Did you really sacrifice time for me?
You had another choice, a choice you have been known to love so much.
But you didn't choose that choice, instead, you chose me.
I've read some stuffs that has produced doubts in me.
Tell me, what was the reason?

Anyway, what's a hypocrite?
From dictionary.com:
-a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.
-a person who professes beliefs and opinions that he or she does not hold in order to conceal his or her real feelings or motives .

I think it's not that simple. I think they left out another point, that is that hyprocrites usually make use of their fake fronts to pull down another person's reputation drastically, wanting that person to receive bad impressions, especially from others who doesn't know him/her yet. And also, saving the "good impressions" for him/herself(the hypcocrite). Why do they do so? Possible reasons are because of jealousy, grudge, boredom, and so on. It's very clear that around you, there's a countless number of them. And also, don't deny it. It's very easy to tell if you are one.
Think about it, how many of your friends around you has told you bad stuffs about other people, leaving a bad impression of him/her in you, because you know nothing about that person, and soon find out that person is actually quite nice? Even if you already know that person, these hypocrites will psycho you until you change your impression towards their "victims".
Aren't they so pathetic...

2007-07-15T19:50:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, woke up at 9plus, supposingly 6 or 7plus in the morning.
Went of the house with out of bed hair, then went to get breakfast.
Came home, quarreled with my parents, went out at 3 plus, met up with Dixon, Terence and ShaoLoong to go buy stuffs.
I bought two tops and a belt, waited for Charles, slacked around Novena and left for concourse to play pool. Kai Loon and Fabian joined us later, and both left early.
We played from 10plus till 4plus this morning, went to ShaoLoong house to get some sleep. Came home, slept more, went for a swim, and came home again, to be here.

2007-07-14T13:53:00.000+08:00

Right now, I'm feeling very, very fucked up.
And I know it's gonna last long.
I don't fucking know how to get out of it.
Like the only fucking obstacles slowing me down in life.
Obstacles with minds, and fucking useless minds at that.

Maybe I should isolate myself from everything.
Hoping to not feel fucked up anymore by then.

2007-07-13T21:11:00.000+08:00

Yesterday.
Was kind of interesting. After school went to watch the fight.
The winner received more punches and kicks than the loser though.
Ever wondered why people get into fights/use violence to settle problems?
I never bothered looking up the accurate scientific/psychological reason.
But there's a saying, "If you win a fight with your hands before using your brain/mouth, you are not a man".

So IMO, these people are stupid, and can't reason out stuffs logically. But simply feel offended, thus engaging in violence. Another reason is, the one who triggers the anger, triggers it for no reason, which is similar to yesterday's fight.
The stupidity of these people can be very surprising. They can't reason out stuffs like, "He is angry with me, and wants to fight with me, because I insulted his parents, so I'm at fault no matter what". They think, "He is angry with me, and wants to fight with me, so I must fight with him to win. If I lose the fight, I'll become in the wrong."

Today.
We took our pay, me and fabian received 200bucks, terence received a hundred, and dixon, fifty.
Wonder how should I spend it.. :\
I love the way thoughts drill into my mind. And I love the thoughts drilled into my mind.

2007-07-10T22:07:00.000+08:00

To those who ask, I made my blog's template with slipshot HTML, hence you view it perfect only with 1024x768 resolution, and please wait till you see "done by brighton yam blahblah" before you start navigating.

Jay Chou wrote a new song, "A secret that can never be told."
It's the theme song for an upcoming movie, "Slamdunk".
Had my chinese oral today, N Level's preliminary. Ended pretty late. Like always, I'm the last to take it. Why must I be register number 30? My name starts with a "B".
Ms Leong said I'm not bad. Good to hear that.
After oral, went to help the canteen to find my classmates, slacked around, and left for home with KianWei, met Boris at ZhenHui at the bus stop tho.
And here I am.

By putting down love, we would be able to go further.

2007-07-09T21:28:00.000+08:00

School, today was kinda fun, self-proclaimed free periods.
After school went to j8, got spotchecked by the police.
Went back to school, supposingly to "study" but ended up slacking.
The library was gonna close, and so we, me, jiawei, ian, yongwei, dixon, fabian, arthur and kevin decided to hide at the back.
Almost got locked up, almost.
Went to j8 again and then went home.

People, look at our lives now, it's filled with fun. Maybe not.
Everyday we wake up in the morning, go to school, school ends at 2, and at times 4 to 5.
After that we hang out till 7+ and go home.
Is this fun? It's repeating everyday. We have limited amount of fun in school.
So to me, the only time we have fun is time after school and before school the following day.
Don't forget about homework, revisions and other crap although majority skips them.
Now it's like that, what would it be next time?
Our parents' lives are worst.
They wake up everyday, go to work, come home, sometimes work again, go to sleep, wake up the next day, go to work, come home. It just goes on and on. And they aren't getting richer very fast.
They work for money, but they are helping their employers earn more and faster than them.
Why? My mom's an NTU Graduate with an Bachelorette In Arts Degree. As a producer now, I think she earns about 3K to 4K+
That's little for someone with such qualifications.
My dad, a senior technical producer, was from ITE, now his earning the same, but he has worked for more than 20years in and for the same company.
Do qualifications really matter?
What's stopping my parents, and all other parents from getting out of this cycle? Is it fear of losing their job, fear of failing in businesses if they set up one?
Is it lack of confidence in earning back the money that might be lost in taking risks?
Overcome this fears, make money come in and out continuously, don't let it stop.
As this goes on, money will eventually stop going out and continue to come in and accumulate.
If they ever go out again, think.

2007-07-07T22:16:00.001+08:00

today's my younger brother's birthday. childhood memories. damn. :I

2007-07-07T15:52:00.001+08:00

cip today, and then bballed with zh, little shawn and gq, ben came later. boris came and i left.
past accident and injuries has really affected my movement totally man.
looks like i'm destined never to play bball anymore.

anyway, back to stupidity.
hate me if this offends anyone out there, i'm fine with it.
ever wondered why aren't there any competitions held for (MMO)RPG games like Maple, Diablo, FlyFF, RO and so on. And there are competitions from Online to LAN like the WCG, CPL, CAPL, GXLeague for games like CS, WC3FT, Need For Speed, Halo and so on?

In RPG(RolePlaying Games) games, there's a climax point for everyone. That is when someone finds out the perfect combination of his or her status(Dex, Vit, Str etc) for the game, everyone will then find out eventually, and use it. Then using money to buy over the perfect items/equipments. So everyone will be equal. There is no challenge, the only challenge is "Who will be the first to figure out the perfect status combination". In which 5 days later everyone would forget who you are, or maybe no one would even care who found out the perfect combination.

Whereas for FPS(First-Person-Shooting) games, there isn't a fixed climax point. Different people have different climax points. It all depends on your mind, your reflexes. Take CS for example, if you see a flashbang( a grenade that blinds you temporarily ), smart people would dodge it and turn back to shoot, and stupid people would just run into it thinking they can do the killing after the blindness wears out.
As for games like Need For Speed, if there's a sharp turn round a corner, and assuming both intends to drift throughout the corner, stupid people, would take the inner lane which would cause the car to drift to the outer lane halfway. To keep in the inner lane, the car needs to reduce its speed, hence would still be taken over. Smart people would simply take the outer lane and throw the weight of the car to the front, enabling it to maintain speed and turn as sharp.

To experience such stupidity, observe the doing and reactions of a twit and a non-twit.
Of course, don't let a twit who acts like he/she isn't one fool you.
They talk with a totally chinese accent, even when they speak english normally.
But that's still not being a twit.
When they act as though they REALLY have english accent, that's when you can conclude their one.
Everyday I get to compare both during school time. heehee :\

2007-07-06T22:43:00.000+08:00

Hypocrites.
They are all around us.
You just don't know.

I shall elaborate, sometime.

2007-07-05T18:52:00.000+08:00

I'm actually excited about my future.

Memories are a mental impression retained; a recollection, the mental capacity or faculty of retaining and reviving facts, events, impressions, etc., or of recalling or recognizing previous experiences, the act or fact of retaining and recalling impressions, facts, etc.; remembrance; recollection, the length of time over which recollection extends.

I've alot. I want to rewind time.
I'm thinking.
Are my thoughts really that weird? Or am I surrounded by people who have lousy thoughts?
I think my thoughts are thoughts that drives a person far.

2007-07-01T01:39:00.000+08:00

What have you been doing?
What have you been eating?
What grades have you been getting?
What have you been thinking?
Who have you been hanging out with?
Who have I offended?
Who have I pleased?
Who do I love?
Who do I not love?
Who do I miss?
Who have I wronged?
Who has mistaken my intentions?
Whose intentions have I mistaken?
How much have you been spending?
How old am I?
How much sleep have I been getting?
Have I been thinking much?

Recently I'm into "Thinking" and "Thoughts" of my own, and others.
I think there are many, many stupid people. Although not born stupid, they've become stupid.
Look around you, look at yourself, are you stupid? What's your thoughts and mentality like?
"Emo" ? Or matured?
Do you face facts, or do you not?
Are you pathologically lying to yourself, or not?
I've realized that there are stupid people around me.
I've also realized that there's a countless number of stupid people around me. Including people I hang out with.
Look around your good friends, start with them.
You'll find stupidity, if you know how to. You need to stop thinking stupid to do so.
Change people. It's time to. I shall elaborate sometime soon.

2007-06-29T18:35:00.000+08:00

THINK, about it.
"Why does he/she bother?"
Don't jump to conclusions in terms of thoughts and "from-now-on--towards-you-I-will-be" attitude. It's showing how NOT understanding you are.

My birthday's over. I think birthdays are just about presents, wishes and anniversary of your birth. Quite boring sometimes.
Hahaha, but this year it's abit different. In a way :D

2007-06-26T22:50:00.000+08:00

The type that knows he is weaker and admits defeat.
The type that knows he is weaker and doesn't admit defeat.
The type that knows he is weaker, acts as if he admits defeat, and tries his best to provoke you.
The type that knows he is weaker, acts humble and acts as though he is acting weak. Thinking you would think he isn't weak.

To be continued.

2007-06-25T22:09:00.000+08:00

I need you and,
I miss you and,
I want you and,
I love you cause,
I wanna hold you,
I wanna kiss you.
You were my everything and I really miss you.

And girl you're just way too fine.
Gotta be treated as one of a kind.
Girl use your mind.
Don't be just another dime.
Because I can't take seeing you with him.

Oh damn, here comes the screw-me-up thoughts, running through my mind, now and then, again.
I'm in the mood to mug. :\

-------------
Me : During february.
Alan : Wah, pain bo?
Me : Pcb, first and the last time.
Alan : LOL
Jkson : alan you know why your girl nv reject u?
Jkson : cos others reject her.
*Fights*
-------------

For the past few days, I've thought about different kinds of people.
Different kinds of personality/attitude. Well, in terms of friendship tho.

Assuming they all care, when you tell them problems, they will go like:

Type One: "Lol. Don't think too much."

Type Two: "Yeah, it's like that, I've been like this before." "Don't think too much alright?"

Type Three: "Tell me about it, maybe I can help, trust me, even if I can't, just tell me. You'll feel better." "Don't think too much alright?"

There's just this difference, I think its the difference in IQ and EQ. People of Type One wouldn't have the brains to analyze your problems, thus don't dare to ask and think of solutions for you, but yeah it's drop-dead easy.
People of Type Two ACT like they know, but give zero advices, because they don't know at all, how you're feeling.
People of Type Three, they admit if they don't know how you feel, but they try to, and they let you confide in them, and solve your problems like mathematical equations.

Stupidity and dumbness of human.

2007-06-23T08:37:00.000+08:00

it's 8:37AM now. I just reached home not long.
Yesterday, went to meet kai loon at 5, and we pooled at tpy's safra til around 7, that's when charles came. then we went to serangoon, but didn't manage to play. so went to concourse, and we pool-ed til morning, 5+ 6. and then slacked til around 7, and home, now.
later, town. damn i'm lacking lots of sleep.

2007-06-22T00:13:00.000+08:00

Come to think about it.

2007-06-18T23:08:00.000+08:00

Okay, I slept at 4am and woke up at 9+am this morning.
Went to meet QuinFei and Winnie, and then went to Mr Zaidi's house.
We reached, and we left on the spot. Ate at Lot1 then went back.
I came home, bathed, msn-ed, then slept awhile.
Woke up and went to meet Lydia and YuZhi.
Slacked at j8's arcade, watching yuzhi whack drumpads, then visited sick zhiwei, slacked at her house's playground til 9+10. Then headed home.
Tomorrow, DNT. Again.

2007-06-14T20:39:00.000+08:00

Another meaning song that I like. :D

Gallery, by Mario Vasquez.

God broke the mold,
When he made this one I know
She's breathtaking but so much more
She walks in the room, your lungs close
Making you never want to breathe again
Her boyfriend has got so much dough
So much ice his neck and wrist frozeIs he faithful to her?
Hell no
But she chose to be with him, shorty
Tell me is the money worth your soul?
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on
When you know that dude has a whole wall of 'em just like you?
And girl you're just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind
Girl use your mind
Don't be just another dime
BecauseI can't take
Seeing you with him
'Cause I know exactly what you'll be,
In his gallery
Just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery
She's so confused
She knows she deserves more
Someone who will love and adore
But his money's hard to ignore
She really doesn't know what to do
Girl it's just a matter of time
Before he finds another more fine
After he's done dulling your shine
You're out the door and he's through with you
Tell me is the money worth your soul?
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on,
When you know that dude has a whole wall of 'em just like you?
And girl you're just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind
Girl use your mind
Don't be just another dime
I can't take
Seeing you with him
'Cause I know exactly what you'll be
In his gallery
Just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery
You're a masterpiece
I know that he
Can't appreciate your beauty
Don't let him cheapen you
He don't see you like i do
Beautiful not just for show
Time that someone let you know
I can't take
Seeing you with him
'Cause I know exactly what you'll be
In his gallery
Just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
I can't take
Seeing you with him
'Cause I know exactly what you'll be
In his gallery
Just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery
In his gallery

2007-06-12T21:26:00.000+08:00

Outings, homework, DNT, everything.

Tiring, :I
StrivestrivestrivestrivestriveStrI'mstrivingstrivingstrivingstriving.
Strivingstrivingstrivingstrivingstrivingstrivingstrivingstriving.

-----------------------------------------------
Alan : Where are we?
Me : Serangoon.
JingWei : Now what time ah?
Me : 2.37AM
Alan : Here got what bus now?
Me : Huh?
JingWei : Huh?
Alan : Huh smlj?
-----------------------------------------------

2007-06-10T19:23:00.001+08:00

Adam Khoo Learning Technologies Group.
Leroy Frank Ratnam, Danny Tong, Freddy.
Although it's only three days, I'd never forget them.
Although I only weeped afew drip of tears, I know I held back a sea of them.
Really made me think much better. And I've come to realize many things as well.

Woke up at 10am today, and was woke up at one plus.
Went to meet hweeling and jiong jun to waste time.
Went to collect money and came home.

" If you need me as much as you said you did, then you wouldn’t have hurt me like I ain’t shit. "
I hate when people intentionally remind me about unhappy stuffs.
Since then, I think I've never failed to screw things up whenever we meet.
I guess you forgot about the times that we shared. :D

2007-06-04T20:23:00.000+08:00

This goes out to someone,
that was once the most important person in my life.
But I didn’t realize that at the time,
I can’t forgive myself for the way I treated you,
So, I don’t really expect you to either.
It’s just... I don’t even know, just listen.

One of the most touching song I'd ever fall for so easily.
Here it goes.

You’re the one that I want
The one that I need
The one that I gotta have just to succeed
When I first saw youI knew it was real
I’m sorry about the pain I made you feel
That wasn’t me
Let me show you the way
I look for the sun but it’s raining today
I remember when I first looked into your eyes
It was like God was there, heaven in the skies
I wore a disguise cause I didn’t wanna get hurt
But I didn’t know I made every day worse
You told me we were crazy in love
But you didn’t care when push came to shove
If you loved me as much as you said you did
Then you wouldn’t have hurt me like I ain’t shit
Now you push me away like you never even knew me
I loved you with my heart, really and truly
I guess you forgot of the times that we shared
When I would run my fingers through your hair
Late night just holding you in my arms
I don’t know how I could do you so wrong
I really wanna show you
I really need to hold you
I really wanna know you like no one else can know you
You’re number one
Always in my heart
And now I can’t believe that our love's torn apart
I need you and
I miss you and
I want you and
I love you causeI wanna hold you
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything and I really miss you
I need you and I miss you and
I want you and
I loved you cause
I wanna hold you
I wanna kiss you
You were my everything and
I really miss you.
I know you’re gonna sit
And play this with your new man
And then sit and laugh
As you’re holding his hand
The thought of that
Just shatters my heart
It breaks in my soul and it tears me apart
Our timing was off
I was scared to show you
Now I wanna hold you until I can’t hold you
Without you
Everyday seems strange.
Your name is forever planted in my brain
Dammit I’m insane
Take away the pain
Take away the hurt
Baby we can make it work
What about when you looked into my eyes
Told me you loved me as you would hug me
I guess everything you said was a lie
I think about it It brings tears to my eyes
Now I’m not even a thought in your mind
I can see clearly my love is not blind.
I just wish everything could’ve turned out different
I had a special feeling about you
I thought maybe you did too
That you’d understand, but
No matter what
You’ll always be in my heart
You’ll always be my baby
Our first day it seemed so magical
I remember all the times that I had with you
Remember when you first came to my house
You looked like an angel wearing that blouse
We hit it off
I knew it was real
But now I can’t take all the pain that I feel
Reach in your heart I know
I’m still there
I don’t wanna hear that you no longer care
Remember the times
Remember when we kissed
I didn’t think you’d ever do me like this
I didn’t think you’d wanna see me depressed
I thought you’d be there for me this I confess
You said you were my best friend
Was that a lie?
Now I’m nothing to you
~~You’re with another guy~~
I tried I tried I tried and I’m tryin
Now on the inside it feels like I’m dyin.

Aviation - You Were My Everything.

2007-05-31T00:19:00.000+08:00

Goosebumps, sleepless nights, poor concentration, exhaustion. Oh man.
I know the reason.
I think it explains how certain people miraculously manage to indulge themselves in studies, in games, in working.
To occupy the mind.
Well, I do feel alot better tho.

I regret.
Then again, so what?

2007-05-25T23:05:00.000+08:00

not feeling a thing huh.

2007-05-22T22:56:00.001+08:00

Without a sound.
I figured I must stop being such a child.
You never know how much I've been around.
How much my heart just frowns of your down.

Lin Jun Jie - Down.

2007-05-21T22:45:00.000+08:00

Hey dog, I've been wondering, what do you dream about.
But I can guess.
And If I'm right, I'm sorry man.
I don't want you to be like this.
I'll find a day to help you break free.
Trust me, buddy :D

i can't decide anything.

2007-05-20T19:35:00.000+08:00

unity, reunion;
the night was great overall.
failed to go to the red house again, uneven number of people.
truth or dare, card games, horror movies, swimming, laptopping at mac with milo, beach/seaside/whatever.

that two cups of milo, that laptop, those two seats, those words.
i won't remember them.
stop driving into that topic.
because it drives my mind into a whirl.
recently, i've realized someone's importance in my life.
i don't expect much from her tho.
because she is expecting too much from herself, and a guy.
she's like a baby to me.
my mind's tiring me out.

2007-05-18T21:57:00.000+08:00

Got this from the 9pm show. Didn't really remember it right.

"People tend to treasure things only after they lose it."

Sigh.

2007-05-17T19:24:00.000+08:00

today, pool-ed with zhenhui half naked. got drenched before that.
but i'm sure i vented my anger and frustrations well.
i've been doing so by playing cs a whole lot recently.

es oh am ee tee hech ai ann gee - ai es - am ai es es ai ann gee.

2007-05-16T17:57:00.000+08:00

Don't expect me to do anything soon, or maybe ever.
I don't wanna be like this.
But experiences has made me completely diffident when it comes to stuff like this.

2007-05-15T19:48:00.000+08:00

"It takes a minute to become friends, months or years to fall in love, and a life time to forget."

I agree.
But I think it would be better this way :

"It takes a minute to become friends, months or years to fall in love, a life time to forget. But a second to hate."

At worst, I'm hot and short-tempered, ignorant, insulting, provoking, annoying, irritating, illogical, unreasonable, cold-blooded, nonsensical, infact every negative characteristic a person can have should be listed out.
But I know, whether I'm at my worst or not, there are reasons behind all my doings.
Because I know as Me. If ever, I possess any or all of the above characteristics with reasons.

Don't blame me, but I get annoyed by stupid and stubborn people.
I doubt I'll ever be able to understand genuine stupidity and stubborness.
One example is blind obsession of stupidity and stubbornness.
Not being able to get one out of such stupidity and stubbornness even by brainwashing with logic, sense, and facts can be annoying.
Wake up, stop being stupid and stubborn..

2007-05-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

It's really amazing. Thinking back, I realize how lucky I was. In terms of wealth.
Or should I say, family wealth.
From :
Owning a stall
Owning a cafeteria
Owning a LAN shop
Owning a Rover
Owning a boat
Having tuition for multiple subjects
Having piano lessons( my brothers )
Having sailing lessons
Having air-con in and out of the room
Having good food everyday

To :
Having no more businesses running.
No more high-class car
No more marine transport of our own
No more tuition
No more good piano lessons.
No more air-con out of the room.
Appetite worsens by the day.

Alot more to compare. I used to spend like mad, and actually never thought "running out of money".
Now it's the other way round.

I've never really felt happy.
And I'm getting more and more easily angered.
I guess it's time I seclude myself .
I feel I should let go of everything, everyone, including myself.
I'm feeling very tired.
I came up with something, rather nonsensical.
Love is always one-sided. Unless it's LovevoL.

2007-05-06T02:42:00.000+08:00

today, or rather, yesterday. no, wait, maybe now. i'm feeling really mixed.
why? i realize.
it's not about what, who, when, where, how you want.
it's about what, who, when, where, how you need.
exclude what, when, where, how.

when you're back, you're here again, let me know.

2007-05-05T00:19:00.000+08:00

For all the years that I've knowk you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold
Didn't you say
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl
Tell me
Ok I know I was late again
I made you mad and dinners thrown in the bin
But why are you making this thing drag on so long
I wanna know
I'm sick and tired of this silly game
Don't think that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone
I see it all so clearly
Me at the door with you in a state
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.
Don't say those words it's so hard
They turn my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me completely off guard
On the night you said to me
I just don't love you more.

Craig David - Just Don't Love You No More.
I want reasons, I want answers.
Everything's so different now.
Don't make me kill someone.

2007-04-30T20:52:00.000+08:00

The question is, so what if things are made known, made clear?
Judging by the distance created for some reason.
And that amount of obsession towards another.
In which I give my revulsion.
Seems that it won't matter anymore.
But I do hope it would, one day.

Water pipe in my house burst. No water for the day, and maybe more days.
Horrible.

2007-04-28T18:42:00.000+08:00

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go, but I’m doin’ it,
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone,
Still harder, getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret,
But I know, if I could do it over,
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken.
What hurts the most,
Is being so close,
And having so much to say,
And watching you walk away,
And never knowing,
What could have been,
And not seeing that loving you,
Is what I was trying to do.

Rascal Flatt's What Hurts The Most.

2007-04-27T20:48:00.000+08:00

I'm an atheist, or maybe an agnostical. I don't know
Be it, an atheist or an agnostical, I think being either is being smarter than believers.
Call me blasphemy but honestly, I don't mean any offence, just speaking my mind.
To those who believe in God, I think you are stupid.
You can believe in luck, in spirits, but not God, please.
Think about how did you come to believe in God. Probably someone made you.
Think about how this someone come to believe in God. Probably someone made him.
It goes on and on.
Now think about how the very first person come to believe in God.
Do you think he or she has seen God? Is this possible?
Well, if you ask me, I'd say he or she just didn't know why certain things happen.
Hence assumed someone, something, is making them happen.
And he or she then calls this someone or something "God".
If you ask me why "God", I don't know.
That's just like asking why are you named your name?
Nobody, on Earth has ever seen God. Ask me why things are happening.
I don't know too. But think about "side effects".
What does this two consecutive words mean?
This is the definition from dictionary.com :

" any accompanying or consequential and usually detrimental effect: the side effects of air pollution. "

I'm short, and being short, growing to be short.
Is the consequantial and detrimental effect.
Of not drinking enough milk, eating enough veggie when I was young, years ago.
And I mean years.
All this consequences start to build up since the very first day of whatever you call what you're in.
I call it Life. But before Life, I don't know what's there.

Sometimes you have to observe what is it you do and mention that makes someone unhappy.
And from there, reasons usually surface. But its level of obviosity depends.
Love from one can be classified into wanted and unwanted kind.
Love like cars, should be tuned to be perfect.

2007-04-26T21:02:00.000+08:00

Hey, any idea how much words have you taken back by doing so?
Think far back, and real hard.
Life goes on.
As a residue.